Two sides of the same coin – project me day 206

Jul - 26 2010 | 19 comments

It’s common knowledge that along with all the fabulous assets I was blessed with, I was also given an additional daily allowance a few extra thousand words a day. I have to do something with them, so I blog.
That aside, I believe that I have the confidence and passion enough to share my life with the world in the hope that people realise there is either someone as afraid, brave or crazy as them. I’m also crazy enough to have attempted to live each day consciously and make sure that at the end of it I’ve found the fun in every situation and … oh, blah blah … I’ve said this for as long as I’ve been blogging. I started this project eyes wide open and knew the rules of the game and I want to highlight one particular rule now.

I would never expose anyone in my blog that did not want to be exposed. On the other hand I have never had anyone in my life who didn’t mind being exposed. Ok, there is the exception in the request that my family asked to leave them out of my willingness to splash my life into the wide world. The sad thing is that we are a beautiful family, although a little off the wall. There’s nothing to hide and whole lot to boast about … but I’ve respected it to the best of my human ability. Ok, there’s the slip up here and there, but shhhhh!!

The only person who was super chilled to have his name used is Greggie and not even that is true. Most people have found it fun to think up their cool name for the adventures of ‘project me’ and have been happy to splash their pics across my blog too. In actual fact some people like Risky Business have insisted on it.
For when ‘project me’ is turned into the best selling novel and then the movie, it will be almost impossible to trace the identity of everyone I’ve spoken about because in the real world I make sure to use their ‘project me’ names too. Some of my closest friends as me if I’ve heard from Text Guy … which I have, yay! He didn’t abandon the friendship after all and I think he knew that when it was time to come back I would only give one bitch comment about contemplating allow his return and the friendship would pick up where it had left off.

For the first time I offended someone by blogging about them. No names mentioned and totally anonymous to the world, but offended none the less. I know the offence was more about me being cowardly and talking to my readers and asking them advice than dealing with the issue directly with them.
My annoyance comes in when everyone makes it sound as though communication is so damn easy. It’s a bitch and I’m just as a part of that collective when it comes to battling to broach certain topics. I’m trying not to look like a stalker who wants to pin a man down and force him to talk about life and our future. I’m also trying not to chase every man away that I meet.

Now this is where the coin thing gets interesting.
On the one side of the coin is the internet dating and on the other side is the good old fashioned way of being introduced via via. I’ve had countless issues with my happily (or so I hope) married and attached friends who say I am not meeting anyone decent because I’m looking in the wrong place. So, then why aren’t they creating a place for me to meet people. Is everyone in their circle attached or do my friends think I’m a fruit cake and not worthy of unleashing onto their friends? Let’s hold onto the former shall we?
I managed to get one friend to attempt a set up with a guy in the office. Very long story short, it would have been successful had the guy not had the balls to call me. Hmmm … I didn’t ever think I would be the bold one in the dating duo.
I don’t intend to give up on that option though and am making it very vocal to my friends that if they have a better way of meeting single men these days then they had better show me. Don’t hold your breath, I would hate you to die before the end of my ‘project me’ mission.
Online … offline … the same damn thing. Okay so that sounded like I’m not having fun, but I am, I promise. I think I’m just a little more irritated with those who have forgotten what it’s like to be single and are strangely curious about my dating stories.

On dating stories, that’s the second coin issue I have. The complete opposite approach that I thought I was being overly demanding about. Yes, I offended someone that I have the potential of liking because I spoke about my confusion as to his approach to meeting me. Lots of sex talk, sitting with my number without having spoken and needing to take ages to get to know each other before even contemplating meeting. There is something about that that I just don’t enjoy. I don’t know if it’s all the work I have done on myself in ‘project me’ but I’m fearlessly happy to chat online for a fleeting moment and it there’s a reason to keep talking … then let’s talk. Let’s coffee and let’s see. I’m not saying that taking your time to assess whether I’m worth a coffee is a bad thing, but I’m saying that it’s not the only side of the coin.

After saying good night to the one I did not mean to offend, I didn’t have a moment to breathe before I got a message from a stranger who wanted to chat. We swapped to mails on the dating site and then got chatting on skype. We spoke right through my re-watching and shedding a few tears of ”fried green tomatoes‘ and we kept chatting way past midnight while I caught up on a sitcom or two. By the end of the conversation we had swapped numbers and sms’d each other. Not one mention of sex despite him scouting my website and knowing that I am an expert in my own right.

This morning we sms’d to start our day and I had my first call before breakfast. Granted I eat at about 9:30, but moving along, we have a date for coffee tomorrow afternoon. No mention of sex besides his cute question of making sure that I’m not on the dating site to recruit broken men for fixing. Business opportunity aside, I did reassure him that I want my life away from all the writing and teaching and that is why I’m there. That is really why I am there.

Stay at home on the internet or throw myself into the world, I just want to have fun. Talk about what makes the world go around or talk about sex, it’s gotto be fun. Go for coffee today or tomorrow … whatever is fun.
I’ve just come to realise that with a coin to toss, I’d like to be the one calling head or tails and I choose tails … I choose feeling within moments that we can chat … sms’ing within hours with my first sound of their voice as the sun rises and having had that first ‘date’ before the sun sets.

I choose tail … I choose knowing or giving knowing a damn good shot!

To lighten the mood about my dating woes of late, Greggie shared a brilliant article from the onion that is a must read to put into perspective just how innocent the world of dating should be.


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19 Comments

  1. projectme says:

    Thank you Ellen!

  2. projectme says:

    Thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to comment. I hope to see so much more of you!

  3. projectme says:

    Thank you Sue … I'm glad you could see the fun because there were moments where I had to really remind myself. Hope yours was just as much fun ;-)

  4. projectme says:

    Thank you for taking the time to comment. I have to admit that I can find it all a bit tedious at times too. That's when I sit down and write and remind myself what 'project me' is all about.

  5. Miss Dorey says:

    I really enjoy your fresh approach to so much of life that many of us find so tedious.

  6. Sue Anne says:

    Yet another fun and truthful day.

  7. Monique says:

    Great blog.

  8. Ellen Jones says:

    Good luck with all of our adventures. It is a always a fun read with so much to learn at the same time.

  9. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jodene Shaer, Craig Eunson. Craig Eunson said: Two sides of the same coin – project me day 206 http://bit.ly/cgzSrK […]

  10. Craig Eunson says:

    Two sides of the same coin – project me day 206 http://bit.ly/cgzSrK

  11. projectme says:

    I think its' when we are talking to the right people that we forget all about or communication issues and there is only one way to find that out … talk to each other.
    I also hide behind chat for a while, but then the times comes where the silence becomes too noisy and that void has to be filled. No better way than with beautiful words that speak of who you are!

  12. projectme says:

    I don't know why I'm so chilled to chat on the phone or get to know someone quickly. It doesn't matter how much time you take hiding behind typed words, there is a whole other energy that comes from really listening and talking.
    Anyway … it's helped me figure out that it's one of the important things to me … so I give my number as soon as I feel comfortable and see what is done with it. Bold, I know ;-)

  13. projectme says:

    You have been nothing more than totally supportive of me my friend. I have learned to turn to you so often when I feel like no one out there understands anymore. You beautiful marriage to Bo is an inspiration and something that makes me feel like there are beautiful relationships in the world. So don't you ever stop being by my side.

    Oh … and u tell them married peeps what it's like for us single folk!! Thank you for understanding ;-)

  14. projectme says:

    Hmmm … I like your question Robbie … what does happen after the coin has landed? It did make me ponder for a moment … those are the great adventures of life.
    I'm more of a rock, paper, scissors girl when I battle to decide ;-) Well it's actually just because I do 'scissors' over and over and think i'm just so freakin' smart. Hence more than not I don't get my way … lol

  15. Robert says:

    I've never gotten the rules of dating. Then again, I suppose that would explain a lot.

    Good communication is hard at the best of times. I think I'm way better at communicating in writing that over the phone. There's something wonderful about being able to hit that back-space button. ;-)

    That said, nothing beats a face to face conversation. After all, there's so much more to communicating than just words.
    My recent post Ebay

  16. Nikki says:

    I never understood the whole not calling until a certain time thing either. If you can't actually talk to me on the phone, how can you talk to me in person? It's so easy to missunderstand things in an email, it's less likely to do so over the phone or in person.
    ;) hope the coffee was tasty

    My recent post Bitten off more than I can chew

  17. Nikki says:

    I think for us married peeps, we forget what it was like being nervous and uncomfy talking to a potential date because it has been so long since we've experienced it. Your confidence changes to a whole new level when you're married, and its easy for one to say "just go out and find someone, don't worry about it' when they feel as if they could and would actually do it. But if they had the chance, they'd be no different than other singles. We're not in that world anymore, and we don't understand it like we used to. You have the expertise in that department, not us;).

    Then there are those who know they are chicken poo and want to see someone do things they never had the guts to try just to see if it would work.

    I hope I wasn't one of those that upset you, let me know if I did. I'm a softy and want everyone to be happy, but I have forgotten what its like to date.

    My recent post Bitten off more than I can chew

  18. Robert says:

    Hmmm… so the secret is in the sauce?

    The coin toss. Believe it or not, many of my more difficult decisions I've let rest on the toss of a coin. Sometimes there isn't a better of the two decisions, it all comes down to how you deal with it. Yeah, I know super cheesy, but "it's not what happens to us, but how we choose to deal with it" and all that.

    The truth is, if you're the one calling heads or tails or not… you really are on the same chances, 50/50. It's what you do after the coin has landed that really matters.

    :D hey, I'm just sayin'

    ;-)
    My recent post Ebay

  19. Jodene Shaer says:

    Two sides of the same coin – project me day 206 http://is.gd/dKrLJ

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