Jodene is the co-founder of:
and founder of:
Published June 1st, 2011
I can’t believe the day is nearly done and this is the first moment I’ve had to sit down and blog. Reflecting on the hours I have a picture of a day that truly bounced between moments of perfection and disillusion. I know life is supposed to be like that, but some days the pendulum swings so rapidly that it feels as though I’m going to fall of the edge of the my world.
I think of Soldier Guy in the middle of the icy depths of Canada and I know we don’t even begin to get the concept of winter here, but it was freaking freezing this morning. I only had a meeting at 10am and still I was petrified to face the cold.
The morning was filled with excitement and the prospects of a new sponsor (that I will soon be calling ‘partners’) in Project Me and more specifically, Project Body. Straight after that I had a meeting with an SA magazine that I have heard so much about and I have been looking forward to meeting the team. I wouldn’t have the courage to go ahead with ‘project body’ if I didn’t have the support of some very special people. One of those people is ‘project me’ sponsor, Niel of Slimlab. It made the moment even more thrilling knowing that Niel would be a part of both of the meetings.
All dressed up and heading out into the cold was tough enough, but when my poor car wouldn’t start (again) I felt completely disillusioned. Clearly something is wrong! It’s either the battery or something draining the battery and there truly isn’t the finances to have car trouble now. I’m not a ‘why me’ girl and I don’t believe that we are punished by the gods, but I did throw my hands up in the air and give a glare to whoever was looking down on me.
The rest of the day went pretty much the same … awesome meeting, and I officially have a personal trainer. It might be all exciting but I’m not a morning girl (seriously) and exercising with this back injury scares the living daylights out of me. I’m blessed that Patrick (who I will introduce to you formally in an upcoming blog) is so spunky and excited about this venture of ours. I’m also blessed to have Niel tell Patrick not to let me get away with my antics (shit) even if I burst out crying … and we all know how often I do that. I have gym at 8am in the mornings from the week after next and don’t anyone dare tell me they go to gym at 5am … I can’t help it if you’re nuts!
It’s always glaringly obvious that Lifeology’s philosophy is so different when we try and collaborate with others and I am feeling the pressure of making sure that our philosophy and that of the magazine align, but that’s what Friday’s meeting is about.
While sitting in that very exciting meeting and breathing life into ‘project body’, I got an email telling me that my proposal to socialise a company online had not been chosen over another company. I would have been gutted were I not sitting amidst so much positivity … unfortunately positivity doesn’t pay the bills and I feel the stress mounting.
Isn’t this just a typical end of the month post? Money! Stress! Doubt!
And then I get asked to socialise a prominent SA personality! I get to set up his blog and website for him and help him use all his social platforms to his advantage. I’m so excited I don’t know what to do with myself.
In that very breath, there are some technical things I can’t do on the blog and although I’m happy to help him out, not everyone else is on the same page with energy exchange as I am. So excitement turns to a bit of fear about tomorrow.
When I stress, I cough and a lung almost detaches from it’s tendons (or something anatomy life that) and after a phone call to find out why I didn’t land the job, the coughing spree began. The tipping point is that the other company was hired for a whole lot of reason that has nothing to do with the online platform. Being well connected has nothing to do with creating the right platforms for social media … but I felt better understanding that it wasn’t my offering or my quote. It’s still yet another ‘no’ from a once was potential client.
I can give you a whole lot more examples of the yo-yo my day had, but I think we all get the drift! This morning I was doing my visualisation and imagining the successes, work, published books, online presence, public appearances … blah, blah … but most of all, I saw the impact I made in the South African psyche when it comes to the online space. I saw South Africa actually getting the concept, implementing it and catching up to the rest of the world and that made the roller coaster ride a little more bearable!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published February 18th, 2011
Nothing …
I miss teaching terribly. I realised last night, after my self discovery group with a few old students, that I’m going crazy without teaching. I’ve blamed money for my frustration for a while now but the realisation is that I’m not being me and it’s chewing away at my self esteem.
So this is it … I’m slipping into my mode of greatest existence and I’m sharing a lesson with you that I have been reminding myself of a lot over the past few days.
Do you know that there is a difference between self worth and self esteem?
Imagine a tree with its roots planted firmly in the ground. The greater the need for stability according to the environment that the tree has to endure, the greater the root.
Firm within the earth the roots grow until they know that nothing will pull it from the ground, which is directly related to our self worth. It is the deep knowing of who we are. It is the unwavering strength, courage, self love, fearlessness and determination to survive. He all have it and that is what makes us all that powerful.
Above the ground is the trunk, branches and leaves of that very firmly planted tree. The storms, winds and beating sun may cause extreme chaos for the parts of the tree that are above the earth. Storms may be so bad that branches are ripped from the tree like limbs and winds may strip the tree of all its beauty, but the tree still stands firm. That which takes the beating of life is your self esteem. You get knocked down, beaten at every turn and scared into spaces of wanting to surrender, but your roots won’t allow you.
I am not the greatest fan of the perception of positive thinking and affirmations because of the world’s idea that saying anything negative could uproot them. The most fundamental gift that we can give ourselves as to speak the truth and many times that is laced with the reality that we are slowly being poisoned by not allowing the natural cycle of life to mold us. Without rain the tree would not be fed and it would die. Without the change of seasons and having to survive the harsh winters or the sweltering summers then the tree would stagnate and eventually die too, but it doesn’t fear the harshness of life because it knows its roots.
People expect that because of what I teach and my career choice that I should be positive all of the time. I was once asked where my rich lifestyle is if I teach manifestation. I have been asked how come I haven’t managed to manifest a boyfriend if I believe in the laws of attraction and where the masses are if I know I am that powerful. For a long time I thought I was getting it so very wrong. I even spent yesterday questioning the very things I believe in myself without a shadow of a doubt. My self esteem has been pounded over the past few days and I have had to weather a horrid storm that might not have completely passed, yet through it all I worked with pride. I created a new concept, set up meetings that take me out of my comfort zone and make me braver and I had the courage to initiate meeting a man.
I might be battered and bruised but today I am a little more aware of the strength, courage, determination and power of who I am. Maybe it’s my life choice but I wasn’t born with a simple knowing of my greatness. For whatever my soul reasoning is, I am choosing to learn it through storms and blizzards that test every fiber of my self esteem and that is what makes me more of the person I am determined to be.
I will have it all and the power of manifestation, the laws of attraction and positive thinking are real and truly that powerful. However, those are the roots and if you allow them to be uprooted whenever there is a storm then you don’t realise how very powerful you are.
If I needed all this hardship, fear and chaos to get me to my point of realisation that I am at today then I am truly living the laws of attraction. When I find the man that I know I can love unconditionally it will have been because of the rising of a battered self esteem that has endured many failing love affairs and when the abundance of money washes over me it will be my friend because of the hard works and respects we have worked on as a united team.
We all have those roots of self worth that hold us firm and remind us that no matter what life throws at us, we are unwavering. Your gift is to allow yourself to weather the storm in truth and look at the cuts, bruises and tears but the watch your power to heal the too and wait for the flowers to blossom … until the torturous rains return to feed you right down to your very deepest root.
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published February 17th, 2011
I’ve never denied being a little wacky. Seriously, a person who blogs every day of their lives has to be a sandwich short of a picnic basket. Yes, I’m talking to all of you daily bloggers. Sometimes my wackiness is a fun distraction for my brain that works too hard and other times it’s genuine unhealthy thoughts. Mastering the art of ‘project me’ is finding my way of giggling at the latter and making it the brains distraction anyway.
What the hell am I on about? Sometimes I wonder myself. However, this particular chaos is caused by the exciting buildup to my change in hair colour (which I totally love) and the unexpected bill one my hair was done. I am a believer that you have to spend money to make it., but holy cow. Gulp … it was basically all my grocery and entertainment money for the month. Granted, I’m not a lavish spender (that’s a valid point for a dating site me thinks) and I never regret money spent, BUT I’m too scared to wash my hair.
It’s ok … you can roll your eyes like everyone else or burst out laughing like the rest but this chick is making this colour laaaaaaaaaaaaaaast! So while distracting my brain from the really scary things (which I will get to now) I have been plotting and scheming how to get away with washing my hair once a week. I kid you not … my brain does this. It’s a plan sure to fail but it’s comforting my ego that is living on a shoestring for the remainder of the month. If my plan were to work I’m thinking I could eat well for the months of March and April 
Day 1 … wash hair and wear it down.
Day 2 … I could wing another day down or hold it all together with a clamp
Day 3 … definitely another clamp day
Day 4 … pony tail
Day 5 … scraped back bun
Day 6 … scraped back super greasy bun
Your thoughts?
You’re right … let’s put my brain to better use, like taking my career to another level.
It’s been playing on my mind for so long that I’m not sitting on something insignificant with my talents but the ‘how’ of it all has been freaking me out and putting on the brakes. Thanks to my incredible friends, followers and family I have had no choice but to get over my crap and realise that it’s time to do something … anything … as shit scared as I am. I’ll tell you why I’m afraid before you even get a chance to ask. Because whenever I think of making it out there as a blogger or speaker I think of the millions of others and feel like a tiny little guppy in a very big ocean. That’s why.
I may as well stop ‘project me’ right now if I give into those fears and so I decided to do what I’ve been talking about for far too long … open ‘project me’ up to the world. Let others tell their story and watch it snowball because I would much rather hear a story from the everyday person on the street than the millionaire or guru. It’s always been my plan and I don’t know what I’ve been waiting for … so in a few hours I will be launching my first ‘Your Project Me Story’.
I posted an event on Facebook … which my dearest followers don’t all read properly but that’s besides the point … and opened it up to everyone around the world to tell a ‘project me’ story of their own. My gesture in return is to sponsor that page with a product/brand/charity or tool to market yourself. Of course it was an anxious day … waiting and wondering if anyone would reply. Wow … the response was overwhelming and I am so excited to share some magical ‘project me’ stories through the months that follow.
The day got bigger with my confirmation of the first ‘project me interview’ with an incredible social networking business man who has developed one of the best social networking tools that I feel South Africa has to offer. That’s a few days away, but in the meantime I’m on the hunt for ‘the heroes of business/sport/entertainment/charity/awareness and care the world over to tell their stories in the newly launched section of ‘project me’ too. Once again, I held my breath waiting for one of my heroes to respond to me and when I got my, “I would be honoured” I felt the snowball effect begin (in a good way).
This morning I’m still more afraid of washing all the colour out of my hair than posting my first ‘Your Project Me Story’ and that’s a good sign because I know better than anyone else that fear is the greatest fuel of all. So it’s posting blog, sending interview questions to the first of many heroes and then off to wash this greasy, tangled but very brightly coloured hair.
I hope your day is just as scary
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published February 5th, 2011
Yes, it’s one of those odd expressions that need a little explaining and then it seems to catch on and move through the crowds. Greggie picked it up from somewhere and then passed it onto me and now it’s become the emergency cry for help.
Jumping off the coffee table is a serious cry for help. It’s also very indicative of the energy with which I have learned that I (am most of my friends) handle drama and chaos. One of my greatest messages to the world is that there is a reason to laugh at everything and I know I have been shot down many times for that. I have suffered loss and tragedy many times over, yet there has always been something out there to make me laugh. I have giggled hysterically at grave sights with mothers who are burying their children and I have certainly nearly peed in my pants laughing at my own drama.
I know I will survive anything and I know these moments are fleeting (or at least I hope) but I can’t say I’m in the best space right now.
I have chosen to something very bold and unusual with my life. I don’t have a product to sell … I have me to sell. Therefore I have to rely on why I am different from everyone else on the planet and right now I feel as though everyone feels the same as me, therefore how different am I anyway?
It’s all money related … I can’t go on doing what I’m doing without seeing the financial rewards, yet if you told me I had to do anything else with my life I would seriously contemplate jumping off the coffee table. This IS what I want to do! I know I am doing exactly what is my life purpose! Now how do I make money out of it????
That’s what is floating through my head every moment of every day lately.
I had the most beautiful dinner with friends last night but I literally had to drag myself there. I just wanted to lie on the couch and contemplate my entire life. I never do though … I have never given in to those moments of self pity and I am always so relieved that I didn’t.
We all have a saving grace though and mine is my ‘project me’ moment of reminding myself to do anything. Just do something! Don’t lie around and do nothing.
Firstly, I ate like a pig … so that’s still got work! But then I got my butt off the couch and I started working on sorting out my Organic Orgasm blog. It’s been sitting idle for far too long and I have been putting it off because it’s seemed too tedious. What do you know? In my horrid state of mind I got the entire thing sorted. Okay, so there’s some old archived content to add an a broken button on the top (that I will need My Knight for) but besides that … I did wonders yesterday.
I metaphorically climb onto the coffee table often. I have chosen the path less traveled and have far too much passion and wisdom to give up on my dreams. I get lost in the hows and haven’t manifested financial stability even though I teach it. But that’s what drives me … that’s why I blog every day of my life. Because one day I will turn back to this post and remember when I was more on the coffee table than off and I will have more than just a success story to tell … I will have proof of the darkness and the fear that comes with finding out that I am that powerful!
WE ALL ARE!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published February 4th, 2011
I am a big believer in celebrating the little milestones along the way, because if not the journey seems so long. Maybe it’s just me ego that has dreamed so big and needs the acknowledgement of the little steps to remind me that I am not stark raving mad.
Well, I am stark raving mad … but with purpose!
It’s interesting that 400 creeps up on a day when I woke up and asked myself “WTF are you doing?” It doesn’t happen too often, but when it does, not even all the years of heard work can pull me out of it. Today I have convinced myself that I don’t have the ability to make money. Not that what I do doesn’t have the ability to make money but that I, ME, JODENE does not have the ability to make money. So if I marry rich I’m cool …
Everything happens in its perfect time and there must be something I need to get out of this madness. Planetary wise there is a fortune going on. It was Pagan festival of Lammas which is all about reflection and reaping what I have sown. Yesterday marked the start of the Chinese year of the Rabbit, where I am supposed to have a good financial year but might need to learn the art of compromise and patience. The moon was new which is a time to lay rest to the old and start with a new attitude and new thoughts. Ok, so that didn’t go so well! Our Tuesday nights seem to have bought up the Archetypical energy of the Prostitute which is the energy that governs fear and faith … this is most probably the most interesting of all. Everything seems to be of questions today and yesterday I was thinking just how well it was all going.
Either way, if it were not for ‘project me’ and my ability to look at the little milestones, I don’t quite know what I would be doing now or how I would be coping. It’s 400 today … not even when I was at my most sick with my back did I miss a day! It’s a commitment of note and true sign of passion and self worth. Now why the hell would I, the person who has created all of this, not have the power an ability to make money?
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published January 27th, 2011
For a girl who was going to blog first thing this morning and head off to gym before breakfast all because I have this new found esteem, here I am at 2:30pm having only settled in at work.
That’s what I love about how powerful we are. Just as I woke up and decided that every moment was money and that I needed a to do list to get organise … well there went organisation out of the window.
By the time I finally got to gym it was 11:30am and that’s not to say that I wasn’t at the computer and trying to blog the whole time.
I woke up to a nephew how had a nightmare and then decided he’s act like a rag doll because he didn’t want to go to school anymore. “I’m tired of school,” he said, who which my response was that he had better get over it because he has another 12 or so years to go … yep, he’s in play school.
The water’s been cut so I couldn’t shower or pee. I bought the wrong contact lens solution and couldn’t go to gym with my nerdy glasses on. The shops only open at 9. Greggie and I chatted on the phone till something to 10. I got asked to help with a skype call that took me to 11 and then … this is the kicker … Greggie and My Knight decided that we should all gather at Greggie to do some work and spend time together. Well that meant bathing when the water finally came on, gettind dressed, packing up all my stuff and making my way to my new work station for the rest of the day.
Ironically I titled this blog at about 7am and it was after I had major realisations, over the last few days, that I give way to much of my time where I should be charging for the very things I do. You have no idea how much this is a huge ‘project me’ step for me.
I’m super proud of myself that I sent out my first quote yesterday and that I was asked to help some dear people with their website and said I could only help up to a point. I’m finally learning that my value and my worth has a currency to it, yet it does come at a time when people I care about are asking me for help. Tough one! Maybe that’s why Miss Universe found every reason to stall me today …
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published January 23rd, 2011
I’ve seen strangers shopping lists, I’m certain of it.
I knew that I took the festive season to chill for some very important reason. Didn’t I keep saying I knew some very big things were heading my way? I’m sure I announced more than once that I had the feeling I would hit the ground running.
There are a lot of reasons why I think whoever gets me will be very lucky, but the top of the list has to be my lack of passion for shopping. Groceries are a different story, but even there I buy what I need. Okay, so I throw the odd new product in the trolley heaven forbid I miss out on something new. Thanks to that my teeth have been brushed with every berry, mint, herb, whitening, fizzing and extra strength toothpaste on the market.
I haven’t had much money of late and I’m cool with that at the best of times. I am surrounded by very generous friends and family who see the value in what I am trying to achieve so I haven’t had to live like a hermit living on crackers. I just really haven’t had my own money to do with whatever the hell I choose.
Now that the house move is looming and the new owners of our house have come in and taken over, they needed our storage space. Therefore everything I own is scattered in every corner of the house. I looked at a thing or two and decided I didn’t need it and put it up for sale to passers-by. What do you know, I sold the things!
Of course I tried to give the cash to my mother for all the good she has done for me and of course she wouldn’t take it and of course we both cried. But, for the first time in a very long time I can buy the essentials I need.
The timing couldn’t be better because my sister’s birthday is officially 3 weeks away and I need some things. Thanks to Hustler Girl who took me shopping yesterday, I managed to get my shoes for the wedding. I believe that the Universe (yes, I’m saying it again, I am the Universe) sends little signs to remind all of us of how powerful we are. Some see and others don’t. I have made it my business to see and when I announce that I want to wear shoes that look like a ballet slipper to the wedding, I find out just how quickly I can manifest something. Ah, I love my pretty shoes.
I’m going to have to think a lot about those shoes over the next few weeks because my mother and I are going to need a house sooner than later. Money is flowing but it’s only the obstacle we create it to be. I have been thinking a lot about the day I will look back on blog entries like this and smile at how I got by, but it’s the very ‘project me’ attitude with with I get by that I do pave the way for my future homes and Jimmy Choos.
My sister has gone to fetch her wedding dress and I’m making a shopping list for today. Bra is essential. I’m wearing a strapless outfit that is very pretty and is going to make me adjust to the fact that my body is that typical hourglass shape. I used to hate it, but now I’m looking forward to the accessories (mostly supplied by Hustler Girl) and the new hair (that’s happening in a week or so) and letting a new side of me out to play.
The timing is perfect because on Wednesday the 2nd of Feb is the Pagan festival of Lammas in the Southern Hemisphere. I will fill you in on all the details on the day, but it is the perfect time to say good-bye to the old and prepare for the new. The old in me is tired of the body issues and new can’t wait to step away with new consciousness and embrace the all of me that is the bigger girl (as my dear friend Twinkletoes reminded me). That’s the orange candles.
A little bit of money goes a long way and I can’t wait to shop with a touch of financial freedom enough to buy the things I need to celebrate a Pagan festival with my friends. I am so proud of me for letting them into my secret world and I am so honoured at the amazing response to the evening I have planned.
Shopping doesn’t thrill me, but when it’s a bra for my sister’s wedding, a house for me to grow in and and orange candles to celebrate my beliefs … well now I’m thrilled!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published January 18th, 2011
Dear diary
It’s very seldom that I don’t feel like blogging for the world to see and allowing everyone into my head and my heart.
There is a fortune going on between the notification that we have to be out of the house by July and little sis’s wedding in about 25 days time. The events are all very exciting but issues of money are tampering with the esteem and the outlook on the momentous occasions.
Wasn’t yesterday great? With all the planning for the growth of the blog and how damn confident am I of what I want and deserve? Then do you have any idea why I got home and after hitting that crazy wave of exhaustion, I hit a complete downer?
It’s annoying me that I have to tell everyone that I had a nice binge eat to cope with the wavering esteem. Well I could focus on the better part of the esteem and say I shoveled healthy(er) crackers down my throat instead of half a dozen slices of bread.
I don’t mind sharing that I’m dealing with the elevator phobia! That’s a good distraction and a nice boost for the esteem. But then again I have only really adjusted to the one at Twinkletoe’s apartment and I can’t spend my life only visiting him.
That was huge for the esteem actually. Usually I only share the madness of my mind and the shame that plagues me with Greggie and my mom. I know I’m getting better at blogging about it, but I haven’t really let another friend in to hear some of the madness that goes on. It was great to let Twinkletoes in, even though I had a few moments of ‘pass me the wine’ to get through the truths. There was the low freak out esteem part of only owning a fridge at my age. I mean really, I’m the girl who know that value and worth is not material and my esteem is high in the clouds when knowing what I can manifest. A fridge today and all I can dream of tomorrow. Maybe it’s not so bad to let everyone see how irrational the esteem can be, after all, that is what I want to share as a teacher, right?
One of the things I pride myself in is not only showing the world the well put together, positive affirmations, all is rosy girl! That’s super high esteem as it is.
Not forgetting that I stuck to a huge ‘project me’ promise and invited my dearest friends to Lammas,the first Pagan festival,of the year. No hesitations! No regrets! Just a great pride in my beliefs and an excitement that I’m sticking to my ‘project me’ promises and that my path is so beautiful and very me. That’s not to say that I won’t mess with the esteem as it gets closer to the time considering I shall be showing my alter and a simple version of some pagan gratitude to mother earth and a few gods and goddesses. Huge esteem Jodene, well done you!!
Why then, with all the positivity, exciting things to look forward to and glimmers of greatness, don’t I feel like blogging at all? Not that I’m not gonna … right? This is me!! The girl who sees the glass half full! So enough hiding from the world, but thanks for being there for me to rant a little and build up that esteem until I felt ready enough to blog … which is now!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published January 2nd, 2011
I have confessed it once before and I’ll state it again: hot dog Sunday was stolen from The Jock when he told me about his hot dog Friday that he shares with a few mates. Isn’t that just a brilliant idea? One good enough to steal I would say.
Hot dog Friday kidnapped and dressed up in its Sunday best, I had all the friends over today for hot dogs, wine and champagne is plastic cups and board games. Continue reading
Published December 13th, 2010
I love the irony. On the night that I intend to enthusiastically blog about ‘project me’ and the future plans as it grows from strength to strength – well isn’t that the night that I have internet trouble, my computer is freezing and wordpress is denying me access.
I’m doing my best to maintain the enthusiasm but the blogging gremlins are out to ruin my fun. Go away gremlins!
So my day took an interesting turn. Continue reading
