I’ve seriously been trying to blog since 7am this morning. I don’t have to defend myself and say I’m the glass half full girl so it’s not like I need to slip into positive affirmation mode and cling to my dreams. Nothing has changed. My cup still runneth over with abundance and love. I don’t even feel less positive or motivated. I can see it all in front of me but today I feel like I need to carry a fly swat around with me and keep whacking at all of life’s obstacles that are clouding my day.
The beginning of the year seems so far away that I can’t remember if I told you I get together with some friends and we do an annual tarot reading. No fortune telling but rather a better understanding of who we are and who we have the power to be in this year. Everything is neutral. There’s no good or bad, but I can’t get the picture of the tower card out of my head.
I literally have my home being broken down around me and with that comes a whole lot of other obstacles that seem to be clouding the momentum to move.
I have to speak my frustration before I go any further though. I’m not big on painting life with the rosy affirmation brush of denial. I also don’t believe that seeing the truth of a situation and expressing it shows negativity if it’s expressed correctly.
It’s not like I’m saying “Oh woe is me, my life is falling down around me and it’s all sucky and the Universe is picking on me!”
Yes, there is chaos around me but I know everything happens for a reason and I’m completely grateful, unafraid and living in the moment … so stop telling me to be positive! Learn the difference between living in the truth and complaining and then we can chat.
What was I blogging about again? Oh right … life getting in the way!
I’m trying to figure out whether I should spare you the minor details or whether I should just get to the ‘project me’ part of what I’m going to do to be conscious of this little tower card that will be hanging around for an entire year?
I’m going to do what I always do! I’m going to tell myself the truth and then tell everyone else. I will deal with the consequences of my thoughts and actions and make sure I carry tissues around because it usually brings about a tear or two. I’m going to remain in the incredible space of faith and fall back onto my addiction of food (with a little more consciousness and the help of the SlimLab tablets). Then I’m going to do what I do be – be me! Write when I want to, cry when I want to, sigh when I want to, complain when I want to, drink tea when I want to and fly away on dragons when I need to.
It’s still a nowhere day, but I know that! I’m no less of the magnificent woman I am and no step back from the powerful dreams I have … it’s just a day where hammers, drills, loud generators, screaming builders, wedding plans, sibling rivalry, missing daddy, injured little nephews, sexual frustration, niggly back pain and blog glitches have all gotten in the way!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
It’s common knowledge that along with all the fabulous assets I was blessed with, I was also given an additional daily allowance a few extra thousand words a day. I have to do something with them, so I blog.
That aside, I believe that I have the confidence and passion enough to share my life with the world in the hope that people realise there is either someone as afraid, brave or crazy as them. I’m also crazy enough to have attempted to live each day consciously and make sure that at the end of it I’ve found the fun in every situation and … oh, blah blah … I’ve said this for as long as I’ve been blogging. I started this project eyes wide open and knew the rules of the game and I want to highlight one particular rule now. Continue reading
I have just deleted all that I had planned to blog about and find myself with a blank canvas and a heading that I have no intention of changing. I had started to reminisce and list all of the events that have filled up the precious moments of ‘project me’ and even went as far as to link certain events for further reminiscing, but then I realised that I know my story well enough and so do my loyal followers. Continue reading
I love updating my Facebook status. Don’t really care who reads it or what anyone thinks of me because of them. I just care that there’s a place to splash out a thought, a moment and a reflection of who I am on a daily basis. My Facebook is riddled with friends and family and if I really cared I think I would sensor it a little more. But I’ve learned that being me is so much more fun that pretending to be someone else.
So I lost a day of the ‘project me’ blog and as I realised I tossed a status out there: ‘Lost a day!’ … Continue reading
Your eyes do not deceive you. I am blogging twice in one night and all in desperate need to keep to my self inflicted promise of blogging daily. I know that I could change that at any time, but the crazy things is that not one part of me wants to. I love blogging daily for so many reason … but something happened on day 191.
I meditate in the mornings and my mediations are as unique and strange as I am. If I had to compare myself to others who meditate I might conclude that someone in the equation is a little crazy. I don’t watch my mind and I don’t try to still it either. I don’t listen to guided visualisation or sit in a meditation position. Continue reading
Today I told two of my friends about Mr Wow. I told my mother when she returned from her overseas trip about how Mr Wow and I had made sure that external obstacles weren’t an issue and that he had said I could call him my boyfriend. I spoke to Mr Big and told him about the thing that the world might think is an obstacle but how we had such an amazing bond that no obstacle could stand between. I waited … I waited until we had both decided this what we wanted. I waited … I waited until we both decided to tell the world. I waited … and we had made plans to do couple things. Some he organised and others I organised, but before I did anything … I waited until I knew he was sure. Then I waited until I was sure that he was sure. Continue reading
Today’s the first day I can say I think I hate blogging.
I’ve only just become aware of my unconscious strategy and not that I know it I’m faced with the very lessons that I teach the world … Tell myself the truth and make a change, no matter how small it might be. Just do something different … do anything as long as it’s not what I’ve done before.
‘Project me’ is about putting me first and learning how to do that. It’s about being conscious of my thoughts and actions so that I live in my truth and find the fun in every situation that is my life. I’m doing that … but honestly, I’m only blogging after the storm. Continue reading























