It’s one of those days I didn’t dream about and that’s what makes it all the more incredible.
It was my first interview as a blogger! Okay, casting my mind back, I’m pretty certain that it was my first interview … period! Well a face to face one with that little dictaphone and a journalist asking me questions that the world wants to know the answers to. Well, my world at least.
One of the questions that Lindsey Kin of Media Update asked me was, how do I decide what to blog about each day?
It’s the significant moments. The ones that jump out as a time when I’ve had to go into ‘project me’ mode and either tell my truth, face my reality, laugh at the moment or be conscious and grateful.
With that in mind, my day was filled with two of those moments.
The morning was abuzz with ‘project body’ phone calls and emails. I had to call my friend, The Gossip Guy for a little pep talk on actually telling the world that I’m fabulous because he knows the difference between confidence and arrogance. That done, I finally got brave and damn well called the personal trainer that I contacted just after I was given clearance to get back to gym … In MARCH! I though I would have to re-introduce myself to him, but instead he picked up the call and said, “Hi Jode, where have you been? Not in my water aerobics class, I see!”
Yes, yes … I hate gym! Well, actually … I’m scared of it! It’s because I have no idea what moderation is and usually end up breaking my body when unsupervised. After hearing my idea for ‘project body’, he’s keen to sponsor me with a few personal training session in the pool (because my back is safest exercising in water) and monitoring my weight loss and body fat, measurements … blah, blah! I’m even more excited that Niel from Slimlab is joining me in potential sponsor’s meeting and has proven to be an unbelievable support along a very scary road.
Now I”m on a mission to get a little more media exposure and Niel was a great help there too … even though he told me that all he had to do was Google. Hey, if I don’t have a PA yet, a little damsel in distress can be faked once in a while.
Driving to the interview was fun, considering I had to break it to Greggie that I double booked Monday morning because my diary is on the Blackberry and I’m scared to sync it with the laptop because things get triple booked … so when I’m on the phone I don’t know what’s happening in the dairy and … well … do you think I’m kidding about the PA?
I loved the interview questions, but we never escape the voice of the low esteem that has to be mean at the most crucial moments. Mine always says the same thing: “You talk too much!” I never give myself a hard time about talking nonsense or making no sense. I’m always mean to me when I think I could have said all of that in half the time. I said it anyway and in true Jodene style, even had a moment to shed a tear.
I love knowing that what I do is unique enough to not be able to pull 10 questions out a hat, but do know that one questions is always going to come up: “What do I do in my spare time?”
Cook!
I swear … I could think of nothing else but spending time with my friends and family and cooking … a lot of cooking! Do I need to get a life? Do I need to tell the low esteem to shut up and go into all the little details of what I do like … oh wait, I also said listen to country music. Does that count against me? Only a smattering of followers in the US will be thrilled about that answer, but most of SA will roll their eyes. Don’t make me take up knitting or sky diving. The other option is that word will spread that my stand answer will be, “I cook!” and all future journalists will know to avoid that one … damn I hope so!
Of course, the question does make me lonely! Don’t get me wrong … I love living with mom, the 2 kitties and the parrot. I would, however, love to say that my spare time was spent with a special man driving around SA and seeing all the incredible places our Country has to offer. That was my dad’s dream and we used to laugh at him. He wanted to buy a caravan and drive the whole of Africa … it never sounded tempting until after he was gone and we didn’t have the luxury of seeing the Africa through his beautiful stories and memories.
Well on that very exciting note and with a huge thank you to the team at Newsclip for finding my ‘project me’ journey newsworthy … I’m off to cook for friends! Another defining day with priceless ‘project me’ blogging moments and a great reason to blog!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
I can’t believe it! I never imagined that my daily blog and mission to live my life with absolute goallesness and total purpose has grown into a part of my life that I could no longer live without. From where I’m standing I have a daily blog that doesn’t seem to have a beginning or an end but when I tell people that I’m heading to 500 days of blogging every single day … well those moments get me to stop and take a moment.
Of course it’s been a damn slog at times. I have been through months of being bed-ridden after a back injury but the commitment kept me going. I have had my heart broken and I kept that commitment to sharing the pain with the world. People have died. People have been born. Friends have come and gone and I have shared it despite the fear and pain that I could have chosen to stand in my way.
It seems like a lifetime ago that I started and all of a sudden I am organising a day 500 party in celebration of my journey and to give thanks to my friends, sponsors, readers and supports who have fueled me forward on days when I thought I must be nuts.
To make this day even more special, I have set the Facebook challenge of having 500 fans by day 500 … which is a mere 12 days away and I would love your help.
If you aren’t already a fan, I would be so grateful if you would like my Jodene – Life Achievement Facilitator fan page. If you could share it along I would be even more grateful. Because the internet is about sharing the love, please send your Fan Page to me as a comment on my blog and I will do the same in return.
500 days of blogging … who does such a crazy thing?
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
I had a particularly off day. It was a combination of different frustrations. Some emotional, some financial, some logistical and some spiritual. Yet, as I checked the clock, I kept getting a fair amount done.
I let my mind flow over all the things I had to do and stuck to the ones that didn’t take making phone calls or writing with too much emotion. Both of those were a little too draining for a day that was laced with uncertainty that all stemmed from poor communication on other people’s parts. That’s not a statement that lays blame on anyone because every situation turns back to me and what I intend to do about it anyway. Maybe the contemplating on how to handle each situation made my mental to-do list shuffle the things into the order that they fell.
I can confirm that I spent most of my hours fighting with supplier, threatening other suppliers, letting special people off the hook, forcing others to communicate and commit and learning to keep my big mouth shut. Yet, the work carried on.
Then, out of the blue, I got a private message into my Twitter account. It was from a stranger who follows me, but I don’t seem to be following her in return. It read “Hi Jodene, just out of interest, do you keep a daily to-do list?” If that was an automated message then it was a very odd one. If it was a personal message then it was equally odd. Either way, I lived by my principles of good social networking and responded with the following reply.
“Hi! I don’t but have the occasional meeting with my business partner. The rest is all on a very functional list in my head, if that counts?
”
That’s an incredible change for me. It’s a huge benchmark for how much change this journey of “project me” has bought about in my life. It’s not to say that to-do lists are evil or don’t have their place but it shows me how my mind has settled down enough to remember important things.
Years ago I did a course with an incredibly brash teacher who used shock statements and way out negative observations as a way of liberating her students into truth. At some moments I hated her, but later I realised her tactic. One of the ways she used to nail the workaholics to the wall was to explain how you only need a to do list when your brain is so filled with crap that it can’t focus one what needs to be done. At that time I was making to-do lists to remember which to-do list to do.
In the time that I’ve owned Lifeology I can remember manic to-do lists and having one in writing and one on my laptop. There are excel spread sheets as well as other lists in the outlook calendar. I can’t even pinpoint when it stopped, but it has. Out of the blue, an odd question (that was never responsed to by the Twitterer, by the way) sparked a great reason to be extremely proud of my progress.
If you ask a friend, family member or colleague how often they ask me if I have done something and the answer is ‘no’, it will be very seldom. Usually the things that I don’t get around to are still on the mind but it’s issues of fear or truth that i have to grapple with first. For all the rest, the work is done. The correct groceries are purchased. Actually, the events for the upcoming weeks are programmed up there too.
The irony is that the very to-do list and calendar that are all stored up in my head is the thing that is frustrating and exciting me simultaneously.
How human is that? Don’t wish for it because then what happens when you get it? All of a sudden the next few weeks are so busy and it’s all opportunity do what I love, make money, be happy and thrive.
The only thing is … it’s also the one time I’m moving house, need to pack, want to spend alone time with someone special and have finally fallen into a routine of daily gym.
DRATS!!!!!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Today I feel speechless. I don’t know what to say about myself except WTF?? I’m wondering why I didn’t get the little girl dream of getting married and having kids by the age of 24. Not that I haven’t seen that be an incredible dream for so many. But for some reasons, when I was sketching my dream life I had other crazy idea. Other mad, big and totally magical ideas that would suit my personality down to a T. That doesn’t mean I’m not entitled to curse myself for some of the best ideas I’ve had.
I always cast my mind to an interview I watched with Robbie Williams. I watched in awe as one of the greatest music icons of the world spoke about how absolutely petrified he is of his own success. How freaked out he gets before he records a song, sings a song, releases a song, performs a song. He has performed in front of record breaking crowds and felt like a total failure. Imagine thinking that millions of people (who are screaming and cheering your name) all think you suck. Yet Robbie doesn’t know how to do anything else. He can’t be who he isn’t and he would have no purpose if he didn’t wake up and do what his soul is yelling out for him to do.
I totally get your Robbie.
I know my friends sometimes don’t understand my panic or that you can shove me on a stage in front of hundreds of people and I’ll be fine, but send me to a meeting alone and I want to cry. I get what it does to me … but I do it anyway.
So, I’ve had some brilliant ideas! You are reading one of them. There are much more where those came from and I am working with my heart and soul to breathe more and more life into them. That doesn’t mean I don’t curse myself during Lifeology meetings. Usually Greggie smirks and then it hits me … “holy crap … now that’s gonna take bravery and confidence! $%#& more bravery and more confidence!!!”
The bolder the idea, the more Greg hoses himself and the more pale I turn but there’s nothing else on this earth I would be doing.
Last night I shared some of my big scared crybaby fears with a friend who told me to get over myself. He said it endearingly but he also made me realise something. This girl ain’t changing. If I were anyone else beside the girl with the big ideas who got freaked out by those very plans that spilled forth, I would have no driving force.
My power is my very own ability to bring to life those very things that scare the living hell out of me. It doesn’t matter whether it’s as small as making a phone call to as big as …. don’t let me say how big because that might just spark another crazy idea. Let’s just say that what’s on my plate is big enough … it’s JODENE enough and it scares the living bajeebers out of me.
The Robbie interview:
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Yes, it’s one of those odd expressions that need a little explaining and then it seems to catch on and move through the crowds. Greggie picked it up from somewhere and then passed it onto me and now it’s become the emergency cry for help.
Jumping off the coffee table is a serious cry for help. It’s also very indicative of the energy with which I have learned that I (am most of my friends) handle drama and chaos. One of my greatest messages to the world is that there is a reason to laugh at everything and I know I have been shot down many times for that. I have suffered loss and tragedy many times over, yet there has always been something out there to make me laugh. I have giggled hysterically at grave sights with mothers who are burying their children and I have certainly nearly peed in my pants laughing at my own drama.
I know I will survive anything and I know these moments are fleeting (or at least I hope) but I can’t say I’m in the best space right now.
I have chosen to something very bold and unusual with my life. I don’t have a product to sell … I have me to sell. Therefore I have to rely on why I am different from everyone else on the planet and right now I feel as though everyone feels the same as me, therefore how different am I anyway?
It’s all money related … I can’t go on doing what I’m doing without seeing the financial rewards, yet if you told me I had to do anything else with my life I would seriously contemplate jumping off the coffee table. This IS what I want to do! I know I am doing exactly what is my life purpose! Now how do I make money out of it????
That’s what is floating through my head every moment of every day lately.
I had the most beautiful dinner with friends last night but I literally had to drag myself there. I just wanted to lie on the couch and contemplate my entire life. I never do though … I have never given in to those moments of self pity and I am always so relieved that I didn’t.
We all have a saving grace though and mine is my ‘project me’ moment of reminding myself to do anything. Just do something! Don’t lie around and do nothing.
Firstly, I ate like a pig … so that’s still got work! But then I got my butt off the couch and I started working on sorting out my Organic Orgasm blog. It’s been sitting idle for far too long and I have been putting it off because it’s seemed too tedious. What do you know? In my horrid state of mind I got the entire thing sorted. Okay, so there’s some old archived content to add an a broken button on the top (that I will need My Knight for) but besides that … I did wonders yesterday.
I metaphorically climb onto the coffee table often. I have chosen the path less traveled and have far too much passion and wisdom to give up on my dreams. I get lost in the hows and haven’t manifested financial stability even though I teach it. But that’s what drives me … that’s why I blog every day of my life. Because one day I will turn back to this post and remember when I was more on the coffee table than off and I will have more than just a success story to tell … I will have proof of the darkness and the fear that comes with finding out that I am that powerful!
WE ALL ARE!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
It’s very seldom that I don’t feel like blogging for the world to see and allowing everyone into my head and my heart.
There is a fortune going on between the notification that we have to be out of the house by July and little sis’s wedding in about 25 days time. The events are all very exciting but issues of money are tampering with the esteem and the outlook on the momentous occasions.
Wasn’t yesterday great? With all the planning for the growth of the blog and how damn confident am I of what I want and deserve? Then do you have any idea why I got home and after hitting that crazy wave of exhaustion, I hit a complete downer?
It’s annoying me that I have to tell everyone that I had a nice binge eat to cope with the wavering esteem. Well I could focus on the better part of the esteem and say I shoveled healthy(er) crackers down my throat instead of half a dozen slices of bread.
I don’t mind sharing that I’m dealing with the elevator phobia! That’s a good distraction and a nice boost for the esteem. But then again I have only really adjusted to the one at Twinkletoe’s apartment and I can’t spend my life only visiting him.
That was huge for the esteem actually. Usually I only share the madness of my mind and the shame that plagues me with Greggie and my mom. I know I’m getting better at blogging about it, but I haven’t really let another friend in to hear some of the madness that goes on. It was great to let Twinkletoes in, even though I had a few moments of ‘pass me the wine’ to get through the truths. There was the low freak out esteem part of only owning a fridge at my age. I mean really, I’m the girl who know that value and worth is not material and my esteem is high in the clouds when knowing what I can manifest. A fridge today and all I can dream of tomorrow. Maybe it’s not so bad to let everyone see how irrational the esteem can be, after all, that is what I want to share as a teacher, right?
One of the things I pride myself in is not only showing the world the well put together, positive affirmations, all is rosy girl! That’s super high esteem as it is.
Not forgetting that I stuck to a huge ‘project me’ promise and invited my dearest friends to Lammas,the first Pagan festival,of the year. No hesitations! No regrets! Just a great pride in my beliefs and an excitement that I’m sticking to my ‘project me’ promises and that my path is so beautiful and very me. That’s not to say that I won’t mess with the esteem as it gets closer to the time considering I shall be showing my alter and a simple version of some pagan gratitude to mother earth and a few gods and goddesses. Huge esteem Jodene, well done you!!
Why then, with all the positivity, exciting things to look forward to and glimmers of greatness, don’t I feel like blogging at all? Not that I’m not gonna … right? This is me!! The girl who sees the glass half full! So enough hiding from the world, but thanks for being there for me to rant a little and build up that esteem until I felt ready enough to blog … which is now!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Years ago I would have an asthma attack every time I got scared or stressed out. You can’t being to imagine how many attacks that used to be. After losing a fortune of weight and calming my life down to a mild panic, I managed to get the asthma under control and haven’t used a pump in years. All is not perfect though, because I still wake up coughing and don’t seem to be able to shake the cough if I’m very stressed or scared. Right now … I’m scared, to say the least. Continue reading
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour




























