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Published April 18th, 2011
Today is a busy one so I seriously have to blog and be done by the time this first cup of tea is still hot. That’s one hell of a challenge … I usually only get my blogging cap on after about cup number 3.
I get the feeling this week is going to be an interesting one and I think that a lot of it has to do with the turn around from my attitude this weekend to the way I woke up feeling this morning.
The anticipation is always worse than the actual moment and waking up wasn’t nearly as daunting as I thought it would be. It seems that this week I have to do some things differently. I can’t pinpoint all of them and I am not ready to face some of them, but something is changing as fast as the weather. According to the Pagan energies that work with the changing of the seasons, we are now in a time of harvesting everything we need for a time that we go within ourselves and discover more of who we are to begin blossoming again in the summer. Whether we are aware of it or not, these times come and go in our lives.
I am aware of these times and like to best equip myself through the winter months of self reflection with things like Tigger slippers, warm jimmy jams, roasted tomato soup and chilli hot chocolate. It doesn’t mean that this internal time has to be spent alone and I love nothing more than surprising friends with warm meals. I’m one of those people who loves cooking while everyone is gathered around. I never have a recipe in sight and am only now learning to allow others to give their taste input. Somewhere along the line I have chilled out in the kitchen … and trust me, it’s a major chill out. I used to only allow people to watch but would half throw them out if they interfered. Wait, I do recall a time when Greggie had to finish making his own breakfast because he told me when to stop grating the cheese. LOL … I love reflecting back on how far this personality has come.
That was the joy of yesterday and the thing that pulled me through a day of frustration. It seemed that every corner I turned people were making their own choices (which they are entitled to) and then not appreciating the choice I made because of the choice they made. It truly is that simple … you are free to choose to do anything, but then allow me to make a choice from the choice you made and don’t expect me to do anything but what I want to do.
The more frustrated the greater my friends are treated. Hence the three course meal of soup, pasta and my secret chilli hot chocolate. Okay, so it’s not so secret but holy moly is it delicious.
I know it all sounds a bit vague, but I really am figuring things out. It seems as though Cape Town won’t be happening. sponsors are on my page of refining, friends choices are being assessed and so are men’s.
On the other hand … there is a very exciting meeting today. I had an unexpected exciting call last night and a very unexpected and potentially exciting email this morning.
Oh, and it’s the Jewish festival of Passover tonight. I love the family time and Hustler Girl is coming to dinner with her Ponkie. I don’t do any of the Matzos eating but I do love these moment where tradition brings everyone together. That’s kind of like the next Pagan festival I have planned 
Okay … tea is too cold to drink so it’s time to start the day!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published April 8th, 2011
Well, where does such a happy girl begin to tell my story of a night that I don’t think I even dreamed of. Less than a handful of times I have flipped back to a blog entry in the past and been pleasantly surprised at how far I have come, but in the months or years to come, when I read about my Thursday 7th April, 2011 and I say that it was the day I became a party girl.
I have my 20 year high school reunion in September and I have been dreading it for 20 years, now all of a sudden I can’t wait. There’s been loads of joking around that I still need to rent a date, but for the rest, I’m so proud that this nerdy girl with glasses and braces has blossomed into the confident and ‘O’ girl that I was last night.
While my team of Organic O ladies were doing their thing in Cape Town at Boston T for the launch of the club, I was at my first Thursday Club giving away an exciting prize to a lucky lady.
It’s been interesting for my personality to have the utmost of faith in the ladies who are all the way down in Cape Town and representing Lifeology‘s product. Yet at the same time, it’s never been easier to trust at the same time. It must be a huge struggle to wake up one day and have a new boss with a whole different plan and direction to what has been going on in their lives. We magically pulled off being ready for that event, even though my personality did feel a little frazzled by the time I had to get dressed and ready for the Thursday club.
There is something to be said for the brilliant man behind this particular Thursday club concept. It does go without saying that he is one of my dear friends, but I’m not being bias, I promise … okay, maybe a little. I love that he throws us out into the wonderment of Johannesburg and had us make our way to the center of Braamfontein. Now for anyone who lives in Jozi, you will do a little ‘gulp’ or ‘eye roll’ at the thought of going to a part of town that has been considered dodgy for a long time. That didn’t stop Greggie, Twinkletoes, Hustler Girl and me from jumping in the car and heading out into the depths of the ‘new’ Braamfortein.
To say I was pleasantly surprised was an understatement and arriving at The Hotel Lamunu where even the security guard gave us some history of the hotel. It’s gorgeous! There I was in a hidden treasure with a Lifeology prize to give away and frozen margarita in my hand. What more could I ask for?
I don’t need to flip a few days back in this blog to see how life can turn around in the blink of an eye. I just hope that I’m never asked on the Ellen show how I did it … I will have to honestly say “just keep swimming”. There’s nothing profound and nothing very spectacular that would create a new self help book on how to succeed. It’s seriously just clinging to your dreams for dear life, believing in yourself with everything you have and crying whenever you damn well feel like it.
I’m patiently waiting to hear from my ladies in Cape Town, but from the Facebook status’s at about 3am, I think that might take a while. I have already received an email this morning, offering me a venue to do an Organic O talk and last night Hotel Lamunu generously offered me their incredible space to host a party … get those diaries out, there’s lots going down!!
Of course, amongst it all is the everyday personal stuff and mine is filled with lots of mixed emotions. Last night I had a friend not show at the function, which left me a little disillusioned and trying hard not to tell myself that all men are the same. On the other hand, we ended up meeting the most fabulous crowd of people and within moments Blackberry pins were being swapped, Facebook friends made and dinners being planned.
After the function I arrived home to a new member of the family. Mommy had snuck out and found a little brother for Saphirah. He is a beautiful kitty who we have named Eragon. The only problem is that Saphirah currently hates his guts. My mothering nature battled though the night knowing that Eragon was spread out on the bed, purring away and feeling very lucky to have been saved from a kitty home. I thought Saphirah (who was also saved from a home) would have settled down but she didn’t eat or drink and spent the whole night on the cold window ledge. Let’s hope that the friendship blossoms because wow, it ain’t much fun right now.
Tonight is a very exciting Lifeology meeting at our new home. We are looking into the future of Organic O and I can’t wait. On the other hand, today would have been my dad’s 70th birthday and I’m hoping that my sisters and brother understand the support my mom is to me and why we can’t all have dinner as a family tonight. I can only speak for my relationship with my dad and I know he couldn’t think of a better way for me to honour his memory.
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published March 22nd, 2011
My poor friends. I’m glad they have the esteem they have because everything I’ve planned over the past few days I have wished I hadn’t. Well, that’s not true. I have had a fleeting moment of wishing that I had cancelled but then I have remembered that, no matter what happens, I have the most amazing friends to pull me over that one nasty bump I can’t seem to heave myself over.
I have reflected back on the time I have been blogging ‘project me’ and this seems to be the longest I’ve hovered in a space of insecurity, uncertainty and down right nasty to me. A whole pile of issues have come flooding back and although the issues are the same, the money situation is getting tighter. I seem to be questioning every decision I have ever made and I have even battled to blog. Amazingly, even though I only added songs and a brief note over the past few days … I never missed a day of blogging. Therefore I never missed a day of ‘project me’. Therefore … I know I will be ok!
I also never canceled my friends, no matter how much I cried before the special events started. The first one being the Pagan celebration of Mabon, which happens to be Thanksgiving in my world.
As I explained to my special friends, I am always thankful. I never miss the blessings and I never relinquish responsibility for exactly where I find myself. ‘Project me’ has reminded me of this every day. I am also not part of the positivity movement and can’t wear rose coloured glasses when looking at certain situations in my life. So thanksgiving had an interesting spin on it for me. I was most thankful that my friends embrace my practices and get so excited to part-take in them. I was equally thankful that we celebrate these moments (and all moments we are together) with the merriment that the goddesses expect of life.
It was equally amazing to watch each person slip into the space of gratitude and embrace the very reasons why I found the magic of celebrating these festivals with as much tradition as possible.
Of course, in my crowd, it eventually all goes south and fits of laughter and hysteria reigns. In those moments when we become shamelessly joyous, I am thrilled that I never canceled.
Yesterday, my house had no water and no electricity at another point. It rains into the house and clouds were hovering and there are boxes of half packed items scattered everywhere. That almost stopped me from the impromptu dinner my soul was craving. Money is still tight and no one ever seems to mind, so why did I get myself so stressed that the people who have seen me at my worst, would see me at my worst?
Of course, I’m thrilled that I didn’t cancel. I don’t know if there are even pictures to prove the mayhem that we create when we gather together. I’m sure if you saw the pics, you still wouldn’t believe it.
There are no words to thank my Greggie, Twinkletoes, Hustler Girl and Ponkie for being the most incredible friends a girl could ask for … thank you for not being insulted every time I told you I wished I had canceled you and thank you for giving me so many reasons to be so grateful I didn’t.
I know that this too will pass, but in the meantime … thank you for being my strength and the light that keeps my path bright as I take each step.
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published March 19th, 2011If all goes according to plan, I’ve realised that there might be days where it’s grabbing moments here and there to do this daily blog. It’s impossible for my day to be complete without it and it’s beyond the obvious that my days are always lived as ‘project me’.
Today happens to be one of those days. I’m being fetched by the cool chicks from diligo online shopping in about 15 minutes and there’s still hair and make up to do. We are dashing off to an event that my dearest friend and awesome sponsor, Hustler Girl is involved. Yes … it’s about sex and I’m going to see if there are any networking opportunities for Lifeology and Organic Orgasm. The is a slight hesitation about the event, but part of ‘project me’ is facing everything with an open mind and not judging anything until I know all the facts. So I’m keeping it real and hoping this event and myself are on the same page. Which page might that be? The page that speaks of shameless and fun sex (with all the understandings of self esteem and self worth, of course). That has given me an idea … It’s time to do a blog that spells out all my philosophies that I live by and teach in Organic Orgasm. But let me not get distracted by that now … the girls are on their way
In the meantime … here’s my feel good song and in line with my day’s events!!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published March 18th, 2011
It’s no secret that this girl loves to social network in the comfort of my own little space in my cyber world and it’s undeniable that my plan is working fabulously and that social networking and I are very cozy bosom buddies. It’s also a no-brainer that something had to shift if the magical fairies of manifestation are going to turn my dreams into a reality. That’s always the one part of manifestation that I trip over, stub my toes and burst out crying over … the do something different/face your fears part. Trust me, I’ve tried to invoke a miracle and defy the laws of attraction, but here I sit with a failed yet grateful for my failure story to tell.
I always say it: Throw me in front of a crowd and I am all confidence and not faking a single moment of me. Send me out into the world alone and I become the little girl, Jodene, who I don’t remember as being very brave at all. I mean, really, take away all of the cuteness (oh good, you can see it too) and I don’t see much oozy confidence in that little girl face.
At Lifeology we recommend that you do one thing each day that scares you. One thing … not days on end with scary, out of comfort zone events. Well that’s been my last few days. Traveling alone totally scares me. Horrid clouds that shake a plane silly, hopelessly scares me. Talking to strange men on non-escapable airplanes intimidates me a little (or a little more than a little). Being stranded in an airport not knowing why the plane isn’t in the sky is up there with things that unsettle me. Do I sound like a woos right about now?
Lucky for me, the things that usually freak people out is the stuff that doesn’t freak me at all. Now that I’ve given myself and my ego that little save, I can mention one more thing that I absolutely HATE doing on my own. Drum roll please … I HATE arriving at places on my own. I can go to a movie by myself and shop for ages all alone and even take myself out to dinner, but don’t make me arrive at a function all by myself. Yuk! Yes … I said Yuk!!
So after returning from Cape Town after being stranded in the airport and then thrown around the sky wall sitting next to a strange man who was offering to buy me wine … I had a ladies networking event to attend. This would be easy … phone a friend and don’t go alone. The one bit of bravery thing was done hours ago and I expected the rest of the day to go my way. I can picture the manifestation fairies chuckling at me, constantly.
It was supposed to be easy … call Hustler Girl. Right, she was busy. Beg little sis who looked hagged after a seriously hard day’s work (I tried not to care, trust me). Beg mother … ok, that was going nowhere. Sulk for 10 minutes that you business partner and best friend (same person) is a male. A cute male would look great in drag, but still a no-can-do for the networking event.
Sulk for another 5 minutes. I tried to convince myself that the airport and airplane saga was too much for me, but we all know I’m not much of a quitter … so I put on the war-paint and my big girl panties and headed to the networking event.
If you say I told you so, (not mentioning any names … Greg Arthur or a certain Robbie) you shall consider yourself unspoken to for at least 24 hours.
I will let The Venus Networks introduce itself: An on-going collaboration between brands and a group of carefully selected women, designed to ensure that the products and brands that women buy, and the information they receive, fit into their world, not the other way around.
It’s undeniable, I’m a Venus Girl and pretty damn thrilled at myself for facing the dozenth fear for the day and attending the networking function on my own. I always say that The Universe rewards bravery and my reward was being surrounded by an unbelievable crowd of inspirational women. We all had the same goal in mind … FUN of course! It was great to just be girls … girls with ideas, dreams, aspirations, visions and very big plans. You need three things when women network … food, champagne and a pen. In this era of technology don’t think any of us whipped out our Blackberry’s or find them for that matter. Thank heavens for the good old fashioned business card and some very smart Venus ideas that are only conjured up by networking women.
They say it only takes one and this was it. The one! The one moment that broke a little more shackles that tie me to the world of online networking and throws me out into the world for another very powerful form of social networking. A ‘project me’ moment of great self pride and the reward of meeting new and reconnection with familiar empowering women who are all The Venus Networks.
A special thank you to the ladies of the diligo online fashion shop for a great night, an instant connection, immediate social plans and a great concept!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published February 27th, 2011
Admittedly, I’ve felt crappy for days.
Damn, now I have to explain myself!
There is a line of diabetes in my family, so I really shouldn’t be messing around with how I eat considering I’ve been diagnosed with a pretty high level of something. I don’t know how it all works but I do know that I need to keep my sugar levels as stable as possible.
Everyone always assumes that means cutting out all the carbs and keeping the sugar to almost non existent (including the good ones) and sometimes I get into total idiot space and act like ‘everyone’. No offence to anyone who is reading this and knows they aren’t being kind to their bodies, but the truth first hurts and then sets you straight.
On Tuesday night when Greggie, my mom and myself get together for our little dose of self healing and honesty I am going to have to deal with the consequences of what I’m about to tell you.
Before my sister’s wedding I began to worry that I wouldn’t look great in what I was wearing. I know I said that a few times. The truth is that I did the one thing that I thought was the only thing I could do and cut my carbs right down. I mean right down. The most I would have was an odd bowl of all bran every few days. I had no fruit and I listened to some of the worst advice I have ever been fed. Actually, I’ve been fed it for years and I tapped back into in a total space of fear.
After the wedding I felt great and so I carried on keeping my carbs low. Not completely gone, but I know it’s too low.
Then Hustler Girl and I went on that sugar binge and I was sick almost halfway through my carbo loaded lunch. With each crash I had to fuel myself with more sugar and I have been faint and dizzy since Wednesday.
Yesterday was so bad that I literally had to put myself to bed after a lunch that goes against anything screaming balance.
You know I have voices in my head, so I’m not going to go into explaining myself about that. I am going to explain what the voices were screaming at me about though.
Friends, I love you … but my word, do you mess with my mind and my choices for my own health. I can’t believe how everyone has an opinion and I watch your Facebook status’s saying you were at gym for 2 hours and you are surviving fine on a tomato smoothie. Here I am trying to learn to listen to my own body and it’s screaming for me to eat carbs at every meal. The good carbs of course … but carbs one the less. It’s protein overload all around me and that’s not the wisest thing to do for a body.
At this point my best friend, Greggie, is reading this post and rolling his eyes or mumbling ‘I told you so’ under his breathe, but for some reason I did choose a lifetime of learning things my own way.
Since I was a little girl I never just believed anything that I was told and that has carried on through my whole life. Why would I make it any different when learning how to eat. NOT being told how to eat or following a diet or a plan … but learning for myself what I need to balance my own body.
With the room spinning around me and my blood levels wavering from high to low, the voices reminded me that I know what I’m doing. I know that there is no one under the sun who can tell me what to eat and how to take care of my own body. Shit, that’s a lot of self trust. No one goes inwards at a time like this and the craving to google the perfect diet is haunting me.
I’m not 13! I’m a 37 year old woman who is trying to show the world that we have the power within us to do and be anything. The truth does remain though … I have an erratic sugar issue and I should NOT be messing around with it. The only way to do that is grow the hell up and start listening to myself.
So, you can hear I’m being mean to myself and I’m going to have to take some time to turn that around, but in the meantime I have to stop the light-headedness and the room from spinning. I have to trust in myself to balance my sugars myself and take yet another massive ‘project me’ step.
First things first though … I admitted it! I told you and me the truth … I didn’t want an afternoon nap, I needed it! Desperately!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
body issues, diet, fear, friends, Greggie, gym, Hustler Girl, Project Me, truth, wedding | 
6 CommentsPublished February 24th, 2011
I’m thinking it’s going to be one of those days.
Waking up to the wild antics of a kitten that looks like she should have been named after a princess is my own fault … I never should have named her after a mischievous dragon. It would have been cute were I not coming down from the sugar rush of a lifetime.
Or is it that I’m finally building a healthy enough relationship with my body that I can feel the impact of food on my entire system?
Of course I blame Hustler Girl and in her comment she is going to blame me in return. The bottom line is that our little binge of what we thought was a well deserved ‘cheat’ meal left me learning things about myself that my poor sugar levels have been trying to learn for years. My body only wants to be fed certain things. My body doesn’t like too much refined, oily, sugary stuff that we are used to eating every day.
When I was little one of my favourite things to do was play with a yo-yo. I can’t tell you how many I had but one of my best ones had a face on it and I used to imagine that is was a person getting all dizzy as I twirled and spun it. You know that eeeeewww feeling? Well I had that from the moment my sugar spiked for the first time. Hmmm … lesson learned!
But wait, there’s more … sugar that is!! Don’t those biscuity things with the yummy strawberry begging to be eaten just look scrumptious? I didn’t realise the invitation to The Venus Network for some fun and a product research workshop for South Africa’s Tea Lovers biscuits would include an array of delicious treats made from the biscuits … naive, I know!
So we all know just how engrossed in online networking I am. I’ve mentioned for long enough how I can mingle anywhere online but don’t like arriving at venues on my own. Let’s not forget that if you spin me around I’m lost. It was also time to meet a ‘stranger’ that I’ve only been communicating with via every other means possible except face to face. I’ve had a few ‘project me’ stories of connecting with someone and chatting for ages only to never speak again after the actual meeting. This person is really sweet and I don’t want them to go away … so the combination of all of this was like a sugar rush all on it’s own.
I liked it … all of it … the personal social networking. Spending time at the gorgeous venue, Life on 3rd in Mellville and putting a gentle face to a very special voice. On that note, it’s a great thank you to Life on 3rd for the absolutely delicious sweet treats that were all made with Tea Lovers biscuits. If I didn’t stress about a potential sugar coma, I would have indulged a tad more.
I also discovered that I quite like tapping into another creative side of myself. Yes, words flow like water with me but when we were presented with cardboard, crayons, pencils and magazines and asked to be artistically creative, I panicked a little. I can write what I think, but to draw it … that’s not me! Or is it??? Maybe the sugary experience that thrust me into the unfamiliar world of creativity sparked a little more confidence in a few more areas of possibility. Don’t panic … I’m not about to try and sketch a Monet.
I met a super interesting woman there and we were Facebook friends before we walked out the door. When you realise you have 4 friends in common and 3 of them are from a dating site, you know that the world is but an oyster shell. Of course they would have to include both Mr Big and The Jock. I saw The Jock yesterday so I know he’s alive and well, but I haven’t heard from Mr Big since the day we decided to ‘end it’ but stay friends. I can feel my sugars rising just thinking about the 6 months that have passed since he made any contact. Admittedly, I have been worried about him because there hasn’t even be any activity on his Facebook since last year. No … I’m not stalking him, exactly! Imagine my surprise when I received a message from him less than 10 minutes after I made a new friend. My initial reaction was relief that he’s alive but then the rest of the emotions came gushing in. The curiosity is killing him … How do I know this woman we now have in common? How is the house hunting? How am I liking my new hair colour? Am I married yet?? … The down side of social networking … but then again it is my choice to announce all of these things for the world to see. Oh shit … I blog daily too! Right, nothing to hide!
So I learned he’s alive and well and that was good enough for me. I chose not to write back, just like I chose not to poke Text Guy back and I chose not to go down any repeated road with The Jock.
Despite the fact that I feel like hell today and am now in a state that I pushed my body over the edge and have diabetes as of this moment on, I had some of the most fun, special and empowering moments all thanks to a shit load of sugar!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published February 14th, 2011
I’m exhausted after a day that turned out to be more magical than I ever imagined it could be. I can’t believe that my little sis is married and I am thrilled to say that it was one of the most beautiful weddings I’ve ever been too … AND I caught the bouquet.
World, meet my special sister and new brother … Mr Matthew and Mrs Geordie Nicholls. Aren’t they just the cutest couple? I love the height thing that’s going and for the cutting of the cake (which was actually biting into gorgeous cup cakes) my little sis stood on a chair and was just about the same height … tee hee! What a beautiful love to watch blossom.
I was honoured to be my sister’s bridesmaid and do the toast to the incredible special couple. My sis and hubby met on Facebook and were engaged 3 months later. In the speech I started it with a pic that was posted straight onto Facebook in honour of the way these crazy kids met! I did the speech impromptu like I said I would and it went off perfectly (besides all the tears). Thanks to everyone who laughed in the right places and cried when they should have … it made it even more of a gift.
The theme of the wedding was stars and my sister, with her Virgo personality, tied everything in so beautifully. All the little personal touches showed that my sis and hubby poured their heart and soul into sharing their love with everyone who is dear to them.
I can’t thank the couple enough for inviting my most precious friends to share the wedding with them (and with me). Thank you to Twinkletoes for driving the bride to her wedding. Fancy car Mr Twinkletoes and oh so cool … literally aircon cool. Hustler Girl, thanks for helping Geords with your pretty writing and Ponky thanks for driving some special peeps to the wedding for us. Greggie … thank you for holding it all together when the seems were coming out in my frayed little life with the build up to the wedding.
It’s not always easy being single at a wedding and it’s a little tougher at that moment when the retinue is asked to join the bride and groom on the dance floor. For once it was a truly special moment for me to dance with my best friend and know that we are both wishing for the other to find true love, but in the meantime … how lucky can one girl be?
I have been anticipating how I would feel on the day and am so proud of myself for all that I am slowly blossoming into. Less is more and that goes for the bum and tummy most of all. Even I surprised myself at how great I felt but when dear friends had tears in their eyes in honour of my self worth and determination, it was beyond words. I know that I have chosen every step along the way that got me to this point, but without sponsors like RegimA (for my glowing skin that survived all the pre wedding drama) and SlimLab (that kept the binge eating away as a form of survival), I wouldn’t have felt as great as I do.
It left me with a new ‘project me’ knowing and sense of determination. Watching the love that my sister and hubby share reminded me that it’s all worth the wait and that he is out there somewhere. It bonded relationships with some family members and reminded me of just how blessed I am to have the friends I do. My back held out so well and I even got to dance the time warp and do the locomotion.
Today I feel exhausted though, but oh so worth it! So I’m doing simple things like spending time with my sis and her hubby and taking my date (mommy) out for movies and dinner for Valentines.
What a way to celebrate the cheesy day of love!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published February 13th, 2011
It’s 6am on the morning of my little sis’s wedding and I thought it best to get the blogging done before bride, mother of the bride and madness awakens. Got my tea in my princess mug and a particularly happy smile on my face today. One of my favourite songs (which I have taken as a little life motto) is ‘what a difference a day makes’, which is exactly what yesterday was all about.
After a turbulent Friday my sis and her future hubby ended up staying together and did a few little things together in the morning. That gave me the perfect opportunity to put the final touches to the speech and say it repeatedly to the cat. She wasn’t particularly charmed but then neither was I. I pride myself in being able to stand up in front of a room/hall/auditorium of people and speak without a note in sight, yet for the wedding speech I have (had) every word planned. As I said it over and over and tried to put my personality into something so rehearsed, but lets face facts … it’s impossible for me.
Luckily I had such an entertaining day with the bride and groom to be that it gave me the perfect opportunity to toss the speech and just damn well get up there and speak from the heart. I can’t keep rewriting it every time one of them does something so charming or priceless that I just have to make mention of it. For example … future hubby says his final good byes to his wife to be and proudly announced that he bought them a wedding present (silent pause) A BATHROOM SCALE! Gulp … well didn’t I dash to the car and close the door while chuckling silent to myself. That’s what happens when you marry a man like your father
When I was just a guest at the wedding it was fine for me to wear non padded, strapless bra. Now that I’m bridesmaid, my boobs need to be a little more center stage. Well to be honest, I didn’t like the bra in the first place but I think I’ve mentioned how much I hate shopping (lucky dude he gets me). My mom is a professional make up artist and a damn fine one at that, despite her virgo bride-to-be daughter who turned the trial into … well … literally a trial. Case rests, my mother is brilliant. So it was off to find perfect foundation for sis and boob lifting bra for me. Both were a trying drama just hours before the shops closed the day before the wedding.
My brother drove us to the shops and in Yiddish there is a word called Dufkah which means deliberate. He’s pissed that I wanted my car to be used as the retinue car for my sis, her little bridesmaid and myself, so he drove like a jerk and said he’s better at driving automatic. I’m sure by now you know there’s no messing with me and so I called my incredibly precious friend Twinkletoes (who I have secretly wanted at the wedding all along). Twinkletoes has a very fancy Audi and the perfect personality to keep the bride calm on the way to get married. Brother was a bit astounded, but it sorted out his personality for the rest of the day and everybody wins. Of course, I win most of all … I gave up on trying to get Inked Dude to the wedding after realising that I have been doing most of the calling and messaging. I also had to hold myself back because The Jock is newly single. Now I have the best of both world … Greggie and Twinkletoes to dance with and there is no one else I could think of to spend this precious evening with (not forgetting Hustler Girl and her man will be there too).
Now it gets to the point where bride and groom to be are no longer allowed to speak to each other. Now it gets to the point where my life becomes a comedy act of juggling between two lonely hearts. Most couples don’t see each other for like a week. These two love sick kids had to get through one night. Well, I had to get through the night. When they first fell in love they used to sms each other about 2000 sms’s a week (Thank heavens for Blackberry) and now that they live together I’m sure it’s down to about 1750. I was with my sis doing the last little things (which is always an extended list for a Virgo bride) and my brother in law (to be) was with his family. He was then writing his speech. He then finished his speech. He then drove home. He then wanted to know what we were watching. He had then seen it. He then wanted to know how his bride to be was. He then … heaven help me, the boy reached his 2000 sms’s in one freakin’ night.
It was awesome to hear my sister laugh so hysterically and it’s not like I need a reminder that she really is lucky to have found such a beautiful man, but the reminder was refreshing anyway. My sis and I have had a very turbulent relationship and to be honest that is why I was only included in everything at the last moment. My future brother in law was born with an optimistic outlook on life and he has secretly been determined to get my sister closer together. A lot of what he tried only made it worse, but after a big bust up that spilled out truth my sister and I found a new respect and love for each other. Not that I wished them chaos as the wedding grew closer, but I am happy that the best man and bridesmaid both had their issues just so I could stand by my sister today and talk about their great love tonight.
Mom is up … sis has a nervous rash … the day has begun Wow, my little sis is getting married today!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published February 11th, 2011
It’s not far off from the truth. By the time I closed my eyes to sleep I had to convince myself that I wasn’t having a mini heart attack and it was most probably my heart’s relief that the day was done. It’s like a marathon of events so let’s start at the beginning and hope I don’t pass out just rethinking about it.
It was big change hair colour day. It took like 3 hours and three different colour applications, including a whopping bill that left me with a pang of regret. Luckily I had Hustler Girl by my side the whole time and her encouraging “Holy #@#% that’s so much better, Jo!” sorted my silly money issues out soon enough. There are some thing that are worth every penny and this was surely one of them.
We had time to kill and Hustler Girl has a friend with an awesome restaurant so while walking out the door my little sis arrives and we all decide to go to lunch together. There are healthy salad and semi healthy wraps written all over the menu, but when Hustler Girls asks restaurant owner dude what we should try he points us in the direction of juicy hamburger and very juice steak sandwich. Let it be stated that Hustler Girl is a horrid influence and has led me down the path of the devil once again, but my goodness, was it scrumptious.
That’s not the kicker … the fun part was returning home after a little shopping and moaning about the excessive food only to be asked by my little sis and her husband to be if I could stand in as bridesmaid for her friend who opted out (yes, these things really do happen) at the last moment. It’s an honour and my little sis and I have come a long way over the past few months, but all I could think of was “Bitch, you watched me at that hamburger and knew you were gonna ask me!” I love what I’m wearing, but I am trying not to have an obsessive two days of eating a carrot stick only when I’m about to faint. Luckily the thoughts may linger but it’s not in my nature.
The irony is that I wasn’t involved in the wedding at all. The romantic part of me didn’t want to see my sister’s dress or anything to do with the wedding seeing as though I wasn’t in the retinue. The other part of me wanted to avoid all the chaos of the day and just arrive as guest. Now I’m getting dressed with the family, arriving with the bride, walking down the isle and doing the speech in place of the best man who failed to be able to make it either. I did say my family life is eventful, didn’t I?
Behind the scenes my blog has been a nightmare and I threatened my hosting company that I would start tweeting horrid things and blogging about them if they didn’t sort their act out. So it was apologies, phone calls and swapping of servers. Thanks to all the events and passing the time at the hairdresser by playing games of the Blackberry, my mobile went flat. Yes, Hustler Girl had to tell me that staring at the dead screen wasn’t going to be very productive, but what does a girl do if not hold her phone all the time.
I was also holding the phone because I seem to be thoroughly enjoying my time talking to the guy (who Hustler Girl has named as Inked Dude) who my friend is trying to set me up with. There are sporadic sms’s through the day and with all the madness it’s been wildly refreshing. Yes, the mean part of me keeps saying to enjoy it while it lasts because we know my history with men.
On the subject of men, The Jock called to say he didn’t like my hair. Which is code for ‘hot damn girl!’. He is my reminder that I can make that lasting impression, which is where most of my friends could kick me in the teeth. I’m still on the path to not needing those reminders of the impression I can make.
My dearest friend bought her and me matching tea cups! They say ‘pretty princess’ and it means the world to me. Without even knowing it, she kept me calm most of the day and especially helped with the build up to having to see the family who have arrived for the wedding from overseas. I have no shame about any choice I have ever made, but I was apprehensive about having to explain my tattoo being the Jewish girl and all. Hustler Girl kept talking me through it and reminded me that this is me and I don’t have to explain myself to anyone. Well, I did in the end. Of course I got asked, but I handled it super well. I even used the words Goddess, Pagan, Moon rituals and my beliefs and I took it as a sign that it was a good enough answer when the subject swiftly changed.
It was such a hectic day that I didn’t get to speak to Greggie at all … on the day that it would have been great to have his sound advice. But in the end everything works out as it should and I had time to put it all into perspective and tell myself that life sure is that roller coaster he always tells me it is … now to enjoy the ride for the next few days.
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
