Jodene is the co-founder of:
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Published November 27th, 2011
Don’t justify!
Don’t defend yourself!
Don’t let anyone make you doubt yourself!
Don’t retaliate!
Don’t give them the satisfactions!
Don’t forget just how hard you have worked to earn your place in the world … or in the social media sphere!
Wow, that a tough and emotional weekend.
On the real and energy worth investing side of life, Greggie’s dad is very ill and I’m so proud of my friend for being so strong and telling himself such harsh truths about his dad’s illness and time. It’s always hanging over my heart and I can feel a little weariness as it brings back so many memories of the passing days I spent watching my dad slowly prepare to leave this life. Illness truly is one hell of a teacher and it’s tougher when it gets to the point that doctors say enough is enough.
I remember that day. I remember the realisation that all I could do was lie next to my dad and wait. It taught me about life and death all at the same time and although I tell Greggie that these moments will be life changing and the he is learning so many amazing lessons about himself and his ability to love and to lose, the reality still remains, that the teacher … death … isn’t one we truly want to meet.
And then in the far corner, tampering with my emotions, stirring up self doubt and taking me out of integrity, is a teacher that I am only beginning to meet. The teacher who comes in the form of individuals who choose the Twitter Timeline and my hard work to attempt to discredit. I’ve experienced the odd cynical Tweet, but nothing like this. Nothing like the teacher who unexpectedly states that I am neither a social influencer or a social media strategist. The person who publicly announced that he is amused that I am self proclaimed. Another Tweeter, who seemed to like the banter and has less than 100 followers decided to congratulate this individual and state that I am a fraud.
Devastated! That is how I describe my moments as I tried to defend myself online.
And then another valuable teacher stepped in. She calls herself ego.
After this person Tweeted that people shouldn’t be proud of themselves when they have bought their followers, I felt my ego step in and protect the person she loves the most … me!
I watched myself make silly choices. Contact people to support me … foolishly. Respond when I should have been silent and defend myself when I have no need to at all.
I felt the backlash when friends let me down, nastiness splattered all over my Timeline and accusations about me flared. Ego had no other way to teach my the lessons I have so invaluably learned in less than 24 hours. She had to show me what happens when I get shaken by other’s accusations or stories. She had to show me what comes along with success and recognition and she had to teach me the wrong and right way of handling it, because it is the first of many … I suspect.
The friends who launched in to support me where amazing. The Tweets, even though I provoked my friends to do it, spoke of love and respect for me. Greggie was supporting me from a distance and Pat was right by my side reminding me of who I am and how far I have come …
But then another teacher stepped in. ‘The toughest teacher or all … acceptance. I felt her comfort the ego and step into the limelight as she reminded me that I have no control of what other people think, say or feel about me. I do, however, have to accept that there are many people in this world and each one with think, say and feel something different.
“Accept each person’s opinion,” she said “but value only your own!”
A valuable lesson, not a pleasant experience at all, but one that has changed my way forward as embrace my journey.
I would like to thank each person who has invited me into their space and called me ‘social influencer’. I am honoured by every meeting, strategy session, workshop and client who has called upon me as a ‘social media strategist’. I am blessed by every follower who has chosen me to be in their Timeline. For without you all, yesterday would have ended with a very different story.
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published November 14th, 2011The last hours of the day are beginning to feel frustrating and I’m finally learning to put myself in a position of turning that around a whole lot faster than I used to.
The shadow of the day wasn’t much at all. There was some gross food and horrid chai tea, with a realisation that some relationships aren’t meant to be. The rest of it was filled with positive and moments that money just can’t buy. That’s important right now, because it’s coming to the time of the year that business owners dread … the long months ahead where our services won’t be needed. That’s why I’m grateful that there are a few burst of opportunities that are coming from all directions before Santa arrives. Thanks to the combination of supportive people, I’m remembering that money is created when you focus on all the things that money can’t buy … I love how smart the universe (remembering we are the universe) was when they thought up the concept of irony.
So my day starting with waking up next to the man that I love. Something shifted this weekend and I am grateful for the amount we communicate with each other, in complete honesty. I keeps bringing us closer and money can’t buy the love or the special messages I’m receiving from my friends who can see how our relationship has grown.
I got a Direct Message from Miss Earth SA on Twitter today. I get messages from a whole lot of people, but there was something so humbling and honoured about her praise for my work when she is doing such incredible work herself. Money can’t buy a moment of genuine acknowledgement when the journey has been a long road … I’m so sure Miss Earth SA can relate.
Greggie and I went for our business coaching with @Jax_Inspires and that moment when she said, “something’s different … something’s shifted!” … wow! Something has shifted and I can so feel it, but for someone so dear to me to notice, well money can’t buy the realisation that self reflection and self introspection can have such outward results.
There was some yada yada along the way but money can’t buy the moments when business partners are so insync and don’t need to verbalise much to make sure their business is safe and in good hands … our own!
I had a whopper of a week on Twitter last week and this Tweet goes out without me even know it. I’m in the process of being very conscious that I’m building an online image and persona and money just can’t buy that Tweet that I received at that unexpected moment going … “wow girl … you are an inspiration to us all!”
My plate is full, between the final #FollowSA event of the year, some exciting work for an entrepreneurial school, dashing between last minutes year end meetings and planning the social media strategies with my existing clients (okay so I’m getting money from clients but money still can’t buy the feeling that I’m getting money from clients). Then, through it all, Lifeology is having a charity event in honour of Nkosi Johnson, the little boy who changed the way that our country view and handles aids and orphans. 10 years after his passing, his legacy lives on and when my friends gather around a table and Greggie asks them, “What are you getting out of it?” and the response is … “we are supporting our friend, Jodene!”
Wow!!!
Money can’t but that and I’m so blessed and grateful to the amazing friends, Michele, Jacque and Kim who have opened their heart and given of their time to make this event, where charity and social media collide, a part of their agendas over the next few weeks!
And now I’m taking myself off to a bath with candles, incense, bubbles and the gift I promised myself once a week … time for me … something else that can never have a price tag.
What happened in your day that money just couldn’t buy?
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published October 11th, 2011Trust!
I don’t think I have many issues with trust. I go with the flow and don’t often get taken for a major ride (not in a car) or get bitterly disappointed (anymore). That’s one of the things I can thank ‘project me’ for … I used to feel betrayed all of the time. I trusted in the completely wrong way and it took me years and the support of my best friend to understand that everyone does the best they can and that no one is out to hurt you. We all have our wounds and we are just trying to protect them.
So my trust issues have moved away from human and developed into a great mistrust for one particular gadget … the GPS!
It took me forever to build up the slightest ounce of faith and for that reason I am always grateful that I’m usually being taxied to events and meetings by someone else … in my next life I want a chauffeur!!!
With Greggie being away I had to put my big girl panties on and get to the four corners of this city and the GPS finally didn’t let me down … until today!
I have been waiting for this exciting meeting with BankservAfrica at the Joburg Theatre for ages. I’m finally finding my niche in the social media space and spending hours in a workshop, as a social influencer, couldn’t be replaced for anything more exciting. All I had to do was get there!
The address punched into the GPS and I give myself more than enough time plus fat to set up my laptop and say ‘hi’ to the amazing people at the Theatre that I have grown to have such great respect for.
Is it only my GPS that takes me into the depths of the centre of town instead of the simple route that I have seen Greggie and Mr Unexpected drive over again. Um … I think this is the point where I say that if you spin me around I’m lost.
So I’m in the centre of town (which isn’t the funnest place for anyone who doesn’t know Johannesburg) and I get to the intersection of Market and Commissioner Streets and the GPS say ‘You have reached your destination’ … UM … NO!! I’m so far off from my destination that it’s a joke. After driving in circles and avoiding getting hysterical I call Greggie. He’s my GPS when all else fails and as always, my friend starts guiding me out of town. The phone on loudspeaker and I hit a roadblock, so I put the phone on the seat and pull over.
I think it’s because I’m positive and passionate about this country that even my encounters with the cops are fun. When he asked how I was I said I was lost and he told me: ‘That’s what we are here for. When you are lost why don’t you come ask us for help … we are here to help you!’ … how refreshing for all the bitching that everyone does about the SA police. He gave me directions and reminded me to trust them and turn to them for help. If anyone is rolling their eyes out there … they found my mom’s car too and have been amazing in the investigation of the house robbery! How refreshing …. oh, I said that!!
One thing I trust beyond anything is my passion for what I do and my ability to take any brand out there and strategically assist them with social media. It was a tough meeting today, with so many questions, outcomes and concerns, yet I had the time of my life.
Until … it was time to go home! This time my GPS wouldn’t even get signal. So much for trusting technology, so the only person I had to trust was me. I used to phone Greggie for fear of getting lost and now I phone him when I’ve gone around the block at least 3 times, so I started to navigate my way. Trusting my instinct and following the signs that slowly started to look familiar, I ended up mile away from where I should be but eventually knew the road and … woo hoo … I found my way home!
It’s stir fry and our first Tuesday night, where we talk about our feelings, since Greggie has been gone for a month. I dashed to the shops and couldn’t wait to get shopping over with and my feet up for a while. There’s nothing like feeling the anxiety of wanting to get out of the car when someone drives into when you are stationery in the parking lot. I need to say ‘schmuck’ … who climbed out and couldn’t be more than 30 years old. He checked out my car and said it was nothing. Yes, it’s a simple scratch or two and the part that goes over the wheel is slightly out of line. None the less, I said I would check it out and get back to him. He told me he needed to take pictures … trust issues!!! Granted, I’m sure many people take other’s for a ride, but I don’t even lie about if your food was nice or not and somehow I realised just how much we don’t trust each other at all.
And lastly, in my workshop today, someone asked me if I didn’t feel trapped and like I had no choice with this blog? They said I must feel tied down to blog no matter what and it gave me time to pause, reflect and say ‘no’ … I trust that when I’m done blogging I will stop! I’m just not there yet!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published October 10th, 2011Well isn’t this going to be a snappy blog!!!
There are new jelly tots out that are coated in chocolate and Mr Unexpected and myself have planned the whole day around climbing into bed, talking about our exciting plans for our beautiful home and imagining our magical futures. Okay, so Mr Unexpected just wants the jelly tots and I want to do all the mushy talking stuff.
Today has been a mixture of overwhelming excitement and crazy frustration. Greggie is back and it was eggs and soldiers and setting the wheels in motion for making things happen in Lifeology. On the other hand, Blackberry has been on the blink all day and I couldn’t plan for my social media Tuesday, so another Tuesday has passed without attendees … boy, have I been daydreaming about a waiting list and a breakfast every Tuesday.
Am I on track with ‘project me’? That’s what I’ve been asking myself all day. It’s simple … ‘project me’ is about being conscious of our existence and taking responsibility for who we are, where we are and why we are. It’s kinda like gravity … we are own projects whether we are aware of it or not.
I am …
Today, when I was strolling through our new home and Mr Unexpected was imagining where future would go, what the walls would look like with a fresh coat of paint and describing his workshop that’s going to be his own space, I watched my project in action.
I know that a few people don’t see the compatibility between Mr Unexpected and myself and I’m sure there are a few that don’t see us lasting forever. Not so long ago I wouldn’t have trusted my heart or my instincts. I would have looked at the silly things I get frustrated with my man about and then I would have combined it with anything I could be an excuse to not just go with the flow but today I got lost in my daydream and it lasts forever.
‘Project me’ has given me the joy of watching my life, my choices and my fears and the culmination of it all is the happiest girl in the world, climbing into bed with the love of my life, eating chocolate coated jelly tots and planning our new home … and where the dragon is going to go!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published September 16th, 2011
The Bobbi Brown team from Melrose Arch store, a kidnapped Ashwin Willemse and my super special friends ... pic taken by the one and only Pat Sloane
I’m the first to admit that this blog has been a bit blah of late but tonight I got a whole lot of smiling to do. I know my best friend is somewhere between Seattle and San Francisco at this very moment so I’m not even sure if he will be reading this. I don’t think he’s missed a blog in the 620-odd days unless he fakes it really well. Whether he reads it or not, the fact are the same … I miss my boy, but it’s been very empowering having to stand on my own two feet.
I’ve set my GPS to places near and far and I’ve found them all. I’ve discussed finances and make monitory decisions. I’ve requested invoices from the accountant and kept track of the bank account. All the big girl stuff that I just haven’t had to do for as long as Greggie and I have been business partners.
Something is beginning to shift and a part of me knows that there’s a new blossoming of a much bolder and determined person. I started to feel it a few days ago, but had a surge of confidence and self respect when I was surrounded by the most amazing group of women because of one incredible woman.
I fell in love with the story of Bobbi Brown and her journey of creating such a world renowned product before I had ever had the joy of putting a lipstick to my lips or a foundation to my cheek.
It was my first Bobbi Brown experience on Wednesday night and I can’t believe how I felt when I looked around the Melrose Arch store and saw the women who surround me. I got to bring 9 of my closest and it was so easy to choose them. Most of these super ladies have met me through Twitter … actually, besides Hustler Girl who reconnected with me on Facebook, we are all Twit friends. Well, Khanyi is more of an extension of Twitter because I was invited to an event that she was at, but we were Twit friends before the night was through. Liesl, Liza, Michele and Lindsey are all definitely Twits and Carol is another great extension of my social media life.
It was such a joy to see everyone having fun, switching off from our worlds for a moment and getting lost in the girlie world of makeup. It was an even greater joy knowing that my journey of blogging and dedication to my career brought us all together.
And … amidst the crowd of friends and talented Bobbi Brown Makeup artists was the other boy. The very special boy … Mr Unexpected. It’s just as awesome to see that my photographer, who is now my man is so loved and cherished by my friends. So much so that he was asked to gate crash the rest of the girl’s night out that extended to dinner just before our Kleenex girl’s night out.
It’s always bound to happen with this crowd and no one was letting SA’s dishy rugby player, Ashwin Willemse walk past the store without being dragged in for the final pic of our Bobbi Brown experience.
I’m also grinning from ear to ear because my new friend and an inspiration for every person who has a dream, Tazz Nginda finally got his cute ass onto Twitter. Don’t worry, Mr Unexpected knows all about my admiration of this sexy actor, model and role model.
For a meeting that was supposed to be quick few minutes to do a few adjustments to Tazz’s social media presence, we ended up talking for hours. It’s definitely one of the reasons I snapped my attitude back into shape. Listening to the story a boy who had a dream and is living it despite all the odds … that’s project me. Just like I share my story with others and hope it inspires people to do one little thing that could get them that little bit closer to their dreams … I need that too.
Between Bobbi Brown, Tazz Nginda, a loving best friend, a treasure boyfriend and the most rocking friends a girl could ask for and a kleenex girl’s night out … I’m BACK!
As always … a big thank you to Instant Grass and The Venus Networks for making my Bobbi Brown Experience a reality!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published September 12th, 2011
Tomorrow is the second #SMTuesday with Crowne Plaza and Lifeology.
Saturday is the second rugby world cup game between SA and Fiji and through #FollowSA we are gathering the crowds to watch at the Crowne Plaza.
Thursday’s meeting … Crowne Plaza!
The other day someone told me I live there and it’s kinda true! They do say that home is where the heart is and with the mutual passion for social media and the support for each other, then it is like home.
I’ve had an interesting day with it being the first day that Greggie is on his month long trip. I woke up with this crazy determination that was totally driven by money and if I have learned anything about my relationship with money, it’s that that attitude ain’t gonna work.
Tomorrow is a small crowd for the social media breakfast and from a money angle I had a horrible morning. Then I had a change of attitude when I realised the amazing support that is behind a journey that has only just been born. So much of that support comes from the Crowne Plaza family and before long my head was in a totally different space. So I have a small crowd this week but I can make one call and set up another breakfast whenever I am ready … because that’s how the Crowne Plaza and myself roll.
This month is going to be interesting without Greggie and this is what I’ve decided to do … be grateful!!! A lot of checking in with gratitude and a lot of focusing on the very little things that happen during my day when my business partner, best friend and little blue pill is far away. And if all else fails I know I can make a call, grab a friend and head off to the Circle Bar at Crowne Plaza Johannesburg where there’s always a warm welcome and a hot pot of tea. Yes, this nerd does tea while everyone else drinks wine ;p
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published September 6th, 2011
I just had to share this gorgeous pic of Hustler Girl and her Ponkie, Greggie and my mom! As always, Mr Unexpected is behind the lens capturing all these beautiful moments
It’s out Tuesday night gathering and the last one before Greggie leaves for an entire month. I’m therefore very grateful that my mom is having a little work crisis at work and are running very late on, as Mr Unexpected calls it, talking about our feelings.
That’s basically what it is in a nutshell. Every Tuesday night for I can’t remember how long, mom, Greggie and myself get together and chat about our week. We speak about what we are dealing with, how we are handling it … basically, it’s a ‘project me’ debrief for me once a week.
A very big part of getting ‘project me’ is having that person who sees you and loves you unconditionally enough to tell you their perception of what they see.
I haven’t been in a relationship in yonks and I’ve never lived with anyone before. I’m demanding and totally ultra sensitive and I wouldn’t see myself unless I had my mom and Greggie pointing some of these things out to me.
The same goes for the successes and the places where I don’t praise myself enough. I work myself into a crazy space and still don’t think I’ve done enough and it’s the greatest help to hear someone tell me that I can give myself permission to slow down.
Everything is about feelings with me and nothing is about feelings with Mr Unexpected and I’m in the process of learning to give him his space and not have to talk about EVERYTHING because then when I really need to talk he’s gonna run a mile. It’s the cry wolf of feelings I guess.
We also talk work, money and purpose and I’m excited to talk about #FollowSA and the great success it was. I’m excited to talk about truly living my purpose and all the opportunities. Oh wait, I also have to talk about the few insecurities that pop in every single day. It usually goes something like this: “WTF!!” and then it passes.
Other times it lingers and I need these reminders from incredible people to put my ego back in place. I know I have said it often enough, but I’m going to say it again … I’m filled with gratitude. I shower myself with praise and self wowing and that’s what gives me the permission to hear the crazy voices of the mind, not ever fearing that they will trip me up and hold me back.
On the days when the voices hang around a little too long, I always get given the greatest gift in the form of a comment, a hug, a Tweet … or a thank you hamper from the Darryl Erasmus and the Crowne Plaza Johannesburg team. The unexpected is the greatest gift of all. Here I am so overwhelmingly grateful for the belief that this hotel has in me to give so generously of their space for me to play out my dreams, and they are thanking me … wow!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published July 18th, 2011
Book tickets by clicking the sizzling hot pic and heading off to the Joburg Theatre website
I’m not a journalist, entertainment blogger or dance critic. I’m a girl who is blogging her way through life and was lucky enough to be invited to the opening night of Burn the Floor at the Joburg Theatre on my 560th day.
I’m that girl who left a sick boyfriend at home for my mother to take care of. Whose day was filled with worry and nursing that I hadn’t blogged day 559 yet. Who had the looming return to gym after only getting over my own sickness. Who … was that the most perfect body on a man I have ever seen?
Um … where was I? Worries? What worries?
That’s the power of this incredible dance production called Burn the Floor.
As quoted by the Joburg Theatre: “From Harlem’s hot nights at The Savoy, where dances such as the Lindy, Foxtrot and Charleston were born, to the Latin Quarter where the Cha-Cha, Rumba and Salsa steamed up the stage, BURN THE FLOOR takes audiences on a journey through the passionate drama of dance. The elegance of the Viennese Waltz, the exuberance of the Jive, the intensity of the Paso Doble – audiences will experience them all, as well as the Tango, Samba, Mambo, Quickstep and Swing.”
What next? How do I? When is the right time to? Why would anyone want to? If I try this will it? That’s how most of my thoughts begin and it’s always a day of incessant self questioning … until …
I don’t do it often. Actually I don’t do it at all. This mind of mine never stops and even when I’m trying to meditate I never get very far without my bossy and noisy brain taking over the process. I used to love reading but haven’t done it in ages because my head won’t shut up and I find myself re-reading paragraphs far too often. Music almost gets it right for me, but never for very long and I’m the first to say that’s the furthest away from ‘project me’ that I should be with myself.
I love the theatre thanks to the cultured flair that my best friend has added to my life and I’ve seen many productions in my time. I’ve loved a whole bunch of them, but I can’t say when last I had a moment such as last night. To review a production like this must be fun with words like sizzling, steamy, hot-t-t and spectacular, but for me, it was a ‘project me’ moment that is rare and very personal.
I contemplated canceling because the collective questions asks if you should leave the man you love at home while you go to the theatre? ‘Project me’, on the other hand, tries to show the world that it’s okay to put myself first, have fun and still live totally within my integrity. It didn’t feel that way when I left him fast asleep and knew he would wake up, sick and alone. It didn’t feel that way while driving in the car and while waiting for the show to begin. Even though I was surrounded by my special friends including Greggie, Jared who was instrumental in my being at the show and Hustler Girl who was my +1 after Mr Unexpected couldn’t make it. Still … I had all those ‘what if’s’ floating through my head and felt like the most uncaring woman in the world for leaving him.
Follow all the sexy and talented dancers from Burn the Floor on Twitter
And then … nothing … but everything all at once.
If I breathed, I don’t remember. What I do remember it the total stillness of my mind as I watched the most spectacular dance production I have seen. The description says it all but words can never captivate the experience of the combination of powerful voices and flawless dance.
Of course the nattering of my mind began the second the curtain rose and all I wanted to do was get home … well, that was until the dancers all began to emerge and mingle with the crowd. Bless the Joburg Theatre for their hospitality and flowing wine that kept most people sipping instead of drooling. Where beautiful bodies and talent collide … it’s easy to forget about a sick man … but not forever though.
Reality always returns after a night as mesmerising as this and when I got home I did my usual … cry! While the tears were flowing I had a thought. I saw the most incredible partnerships on that stage. The ultimate in trust as one partner throws, catches and twirls another. It could never have been that flawless in the beginning. I bet a dancer or two where dropped on their head. There must have been tears and pain and hours of exhaustion that created something so spectacular … and all of a sudden my mind fell silent once again … to dream!
Jozi peeps and Tweeps … I would love to go see Burn the Floor again, so if you are keen please Tweet me @jodenecoza and let’s make a Tweetup out of it!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published June 25th, 2011
Stephen van Niekerk and myself after an amazing performance in Doo Bee Boobies at the Joburg Theatre
I always wondered how this would be. The first time I would need to blog and I had a man in my life. It’s one thing to be in my own little bubble and have such a hefty commitment, but it’s another when someone shares your day and you have to find that moment when you say, ‘babe, I need to blog.’ Considering I’ve known Mr Unexpected since way before the blog and he’s supported me all the way, it has made it much easier.
I haven’t been in a relationship (which we are currently calling ‘a thing’ until we both catch our breath and realise how quickly a lives can change) for a very long time … VERY … v.e.r.y … long time so it’s taking some adjusting. Anyway … he’s fast asleep now and all of a sudden I realise that there will always be this perfect moment when the world slows down long enough for me to blog. I think the dynamics of this whole turn of events is truly worth thunderous applause.
Don’t you just love that phrase, ‘thunderous applause’?
The Gossip Guy and myself have officially stolen it as one of the best lines of the night from the theatre production we saw last night. Sadly, one of the first things we give up when money becomes tight, is luxuries like the theatre. In the meantime, it is exactly what the soul needs to remind us just how much we can laugh, cry and applaud about.
I have to confess that ‘project me’ and money are still not the best of friends at the moment and I have been saying ‘no’ to maybe a few to many things or held my breath when it’s time to say ‘yes’ to other things, but there was no saying ‘no’ to Doo Bee Boobies. There’s another reason to burst out in thunderous applause. No regrets … I had the time of my life and was in awe at the talent that South Africa always boasts and we shouldn’t be able to get enough of. One of those talents is Stephen van Niekerk who has been generous enough to offer his time to do the ‘your project me story‘ and been an awesome support in his belief of my social networking abilities.
I met Stephen van Niekerk at a CANSA function last year and the hot topic at that time was blogging. I can’t believe I even remember that day because I was still dosed up on meds to get through that event after my back injury. I carried on blogging and Stephen carried on being fabulous and we met in the middle where social media and friends collide. It’s one thing to watch someone on television but totally different to experience talent within the realms of live theatre. I was totally wowed at the whole cast but so refreshingly surprised that, amidst all the comedy, Stephen had my wiping a tear with his magical singing voice to top of the acting ability. Well done on your comfortable nakedness up there on stage!! Absolute thunderous applause!
The irony is that Mr Unexpected was all of a sudden in my life and I had plans before weekends had a totally different meaning. So I did what any girl in my position would do … I left him with my mother!!! Remember, he’s been around for quite some time, so I wasn’t one bit surprised when I walked in the door and was half greated by the duo who were having a good giggle.
The exceptionally talented and hilarious cast of Doo Bee Boobies at the Joburg Theatre
Now that we get to talk on a totally different level, Mr Unexpected has tried to understand how blogging is possibly going to make me money. He’s of the mindset that you have something to sell and you sell it when times are tough. I have me to sell and I know how tough it’s been. If it were not for a few turn of events I wouldn’t be too sure how to answer then man who genuinely cares about my happiness and financial worries. But then someone recognises me abilities as a blogger and social influencer and I feel completely different thanks to 3 incredible moments all in the same space.
Ican’t begin to count how many incredible productions I have seen at the Joburg Theatre and unless you are a blogger with a platform to share other people’s stories, it’s difficult to understand the energy with which I attend certain events. No, I might not get paid to blog, but when I am invited to blog about them, I am reminded that I am doing the only thing I was put on this earth to do. I am living my dream and I will continue to do it will be fulfilling in every possible way … I hope sooner than later.
So the magnificence of the Joburg Theatre and the belief in my from my dear friend, The Gossip Guy, has me attending to upcoming productions, Burn the Floor and Gilan Gork, Mental Circus (who was also interviewed for Your Project Me Story). I’m beyond excited to have been invited, but I’m also cheering with thunderous applause that I have someone STRAIGHT and mine to share it with. Of course it was tough to know that Greggie wouldn’t be automatically joining me for these two events and I know that it’s the baby steps to maybe a whole lot more … if Mr Unexpected and me decide that ‘our thing’ is the real deal! I also know that this is what my best friend and I have been saying all the time … we are always there for each other, but equally happy when we share our lives with another.
But for now … back to cuddle (thunderous applause).
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published June 18th, 2011
All the preparations where going swimmingly with ‘project body’ until it was time to put the numbers out there for the world to see. I’m getting support in so many areas of life because I’ve realised that I just don’t trust myself to do the journey on my own. I’m so lucky to have the support I do but I’ve learned that sometimes people’s help is the very thing that tosses my world.
It’s not often that many people can talk about a strong friendship that started off as a … to be totally frank … shag! If anyone would have ever told me that The Jock and I would have blossomed into the incredible friends we are today, I would have giggled with laughter. Yet, he’s never left my side and has been even more supportive from the moment I injured my back.
So this morning, when the friendship nearly fell to shred, I had to finally take a look at a part of me that has been lurking in the shadows for far too long. This is what I do … I start by not knowing what to do and then I get help because I can’t trust myself. I settle with the help I have chosen to get and the moment I tell someone the natural instinct is for them to give other advice, that so often totally conflicts with what I’ve been told. I then don’t trust myself all over again and toll the original advice in total haste and panic … that’s why I am where I am with my body and my health today!
After choosing to turn to The Jock for support, which he gave with absolute love, I heard a totally different take on things and I sent him an SMS this morning to tell him he was wrong. Yes … that person who always looks out for me and has proved his support for me over again, was absolutely wrong.
Do you see what I do? Because it took a while for me to notice!
I didn’t say that I had heard conflicting stories and I was confused. I said he was wrong!
That’s just one of the many examples I can give now that I have realised what I do. The worst idea on earth is for me to now beat myself up about this, so this morning I filled Greggie in (at the battery fitment center) and cried … of course! I had already sobbed so badly while The Jock and I were screaming at each other and I felt horrid living with my mom and hearing me yelling, swearing and threatening to destroy a friendship. It took ages to stop sobbing and one of the biggest issues what when The Jock asked for my weight. I’m about to publish it in a magazine and online tomorrow and he has held my hand until almost standing on the scale and then I flipped out when it was time to tell him. How that must have hurt my dear friend who knows my greatest fears and has helped me deal with my body issues by finding me sexy and loving my body way before I did!!
Do you know what kept me that slight bit calmer while the world tossed around me? Watching my kitties cuddled up in the cupboard and staring at me while started to meet a beast that has been well hidden in my blind spot. I wanted to climb into that cupboard with them and hide away for the longest time but ‘project me’ just doesn’t seem to allow me to escape the consciousness and the truth.
Hustler Girl has been nagging me for final details of the next Pagan festival, Yule! I’ve been saying I will get to it and today I was reminded by Greggie that it’s actually on Tuesday. Holy cow … I am usually so prepared by this time and it’s also my favourite festival (what is now Christmas).
That realisation threw be back to reality and all of a sudden I had more to do for a Saturday than I could have imagined. I still need to finish the first article for Curvy SA but those damn body numbers have put on the brakes. So instead, I allocated what everyone must bring for the traditional Yule dinner and refreshed my memory on the need for acorns, pine cones and a very special piece of wood. Never before have I actually done the Yule log (and I will tell you about it on Wednesday morning) but today I wanted to go all out.
Most times, my brother and I are arguing about something, but when it’s time for help he’s there in a flash. The task was simply to find a pine tree and a decent sized log. Instead of hunting very far, I asked him to take me to the park nearby where someone very special knows me.
Sadly, this very old oak tree used to be full of life and standing so proudly. I fell in love with him the moment I saw him and love visiting him for a good old fashioned tree hug. My heart broke the day I drove past and saw that he had been struck by lightening and was too old and tired to fight on. Slowly, I watched my old man fall to pieces and now in the winter months he looks as if there is no life in him at all. I hoped with all I had that there would be a piece of wood from that tree to celebrate Yule.
This is where my brother always come to the party most of all. When I tell him it’s a Pagan festival and my friend is a tree and I need a log to always remember him by. He doesn’t flinch … instead he calls strangers and they sawed away at a huge piece of the old tree (with my dad’s old penknife) … for like 45 minutes. I kept telling him we could find another one or make another plan, but he just kept going … for me!
The Jock, my brother, Greggie (oh, we can’t let that go unnoticed! Say well done to Greggie for being totally butch today and taking my dead battery out of the car like a real dude!!) … they would all do anything for me and they do it so often. Without being unkind to myself, I have to acknowledge that my natural instinct needs work because their natural instinct has been unfailing with unconditional love while I have let that beast out to unconsciously communicate.
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
