Project Me

I woke up to the little voice of my nephew saying “Ssssh, Aunty Jo is sleeping!” Alright, he was shouting it about a baby step away from me, but I can’t deny that isn’t not a precious way to wake up. The downside is that by aching back was too sore to even stretch out for morning hugs and kisses. I knew that today was totally about surrendering to the situation and not moving from the house.

In my desperate state i decided to put my pride aside and call a friend for a massage and a long overdue treatment called Metamorphosis. I believe that if you believe in something then you make it real and I totally believe in this healing treatment. I love it and I know that I have needed it for ages. My back was so sore that we had to find a crate for me to stand on so that I could climb onto the massage bed. I didn’t know how to lie, but eventually settled in and allowed my body the time it’s been craving to heal.
It was rough to push all of the thoughts out of my head and just spend time with me. Baba and I have had a hell of a ride and I battle to sometimes even consider us friend anymore, but there she was helping me heal. She’s always helped me heal and only my ego took a while to put it down.
Greggie and Sportsy gave it their best shot, but both my friends are single again. It killed me to be stranded and not be able to have an excuse to go have ice cream or a cup of tea with Greggie, but I know that it was all perfectly orchestrated. It was equally as hard to not be there for Sportsy and I’m worried that he’s forgetting that he should be taking care of his body now and has thrown himself back into work. If I weren’t so stranded and if I didn’t know that driving would do me some serious damage, I would be off to Sportsy right now. I love both my boys, but I also know that I can’t swoop in and make anyone’s heart feel less pain.

Instead, I tried to decide whether it was more painful to sit, stand or lie and I chose to surrender to the equal distribution of all position. So I stood, then sat, then lay and did that throughout the day. While sitting I did a bit of admin, while standing I drank tea and listened to my music and while lying I did the essential and bare minimum writing required. I made the most of being stranded, but still only wanted to be with my Greggie.

The second Gallimaufry article went out on NewsTime today and the response was great. It’s all about Mercury Retrograde and the chaos it cause in our lives. I love having some external force to blame for a while . The article and comments gave me a little extra confidence to write an article about my success with blogging and promise to share it as soon as it goes live.

I also did the first goal orientated thing and now you will know why I don’t set goals. I decided to take one week to write the 30 minute talk for sexpo. That means I need to write about 200 words a day. Yes, I added a whole lot of fat for all the writers block I intend to have. It’s totally floating around in my head and I’m being absolutely  neurotic, but I’m doing it this way anyway.  I think a lot contributes  to me being stranded and so very sore that I am battling to think. I’m sure that as it eases up I won’t need to be so pathetic with my strange goals … pointless things!!! That being said, I’m as purposeful as ever.

I was forced to cancel appointments. That’s a 3 cheers for ‘project me’ because before I would have dragged myself off knowing that I was letting people down or totally losing focus of my priorities. Right now my priority is my back and my healing. As much as I wanted to, it’s not about having my eyes tattooed or my bikini lasered. It’s not about having a meeting to secure yet another sponsor for my blog (woo hoo … but more about that when it’s secure) and it’s not about still wanting to jump in the car and go to my friend. It’s about surrounding to being stranded and setting a totally reachable amount of work. It’s about being ‘project me’ … consciously putting me first, telling myself the truth and having fun through it all.

If you don’t thing rotating between sitting, standing, lying and then sitting for an entire day isn’t fun … you should try it some time.

PS … being stranded did me good. My back feels a little easier and I’m going to call it a night, do some stretches while I make tea, sit while I drink it, stand while I was up, lie down while I watch some TV and think of another excuse to stand again.

PS … it took me less than 10 minutes to type this blog … and it’s the exact length the talk for sexpo needs to be. One week to write a 30 minute talk. Nerves are just the most hysterically funny thing in the world, next to Graham Norton of course!!