Jodene is the co-founder of:
and founder of:
Published January 15th, 2012
Roran will be adopted through Kitty and Puppy Haven (@kphrescue) when he is old enough to come home
Pat, mom and myself are counting the days until we can bring out little boy home. Eragon and Saphirah (I added an ‘H’ to Saphira because I have a novel and the main character adds an ‘H’ to find the uniqueness of the energy to an already used name) are about to have a little brother 
Saphirah tucked at the back with Eragon
If you are new to the story of my life than I would like to introduce you to my love for dragons and the story of Eragon, the dragon rider, that crept into my heart. The first of a four book series by Christopher Paolini tells the story of the last dragon, Saphira, her rider Eragon and his cousin, Roran!!!
PS … Christopher Paolini was 15 when he wrote the first draft of Eragon and that’s just the beginning of an incredible story of passion, dedication and fantasy!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published January 13th, 2012I will always love The Cat in the Hat most of all but my childhood memories are filled with Dr Seuss books scattered all over the show and talking in rhyme because that’s what you do once Horton or the Grinch creep into your childish life. My love for Dr Seuss have never wavered and I was bitterly disappointing when my nephews didn’t want to watch and Horton or Grinch with me over these holidays. Most of the time it’s silly rhymes but we all know that Seuss had a message behind everything he ever wrote.
2012 has gotten off to an interesting start for me and the opportunities are arriving at a fascinating pace. I’m still battling to distinguish whether my calm is the anticipation for disappointment or the realisation that THIS IS IT. Either way, I’ve needed something to settle the pointless thoughts that are floating around in my head.
How better than a gift from my best friend, Greggie! What better than a dose of Dr Seuss in the most conventional of ways. Especially today! Especially when the first week of work is done for this year and I am determined to make this year a whole lot about faith and very minuscule amount of fear.
Did I say that 2012 is a 5 year? If you add the year date together … 2 + 0 + 1 + 2 = 5!
5 is an interesting numerology energy with the two sides of the coin being way out creativity and desperate chaos. The best way to control it all and keep 2012 from becoming a vomit roller coaster ride … is to be as creative as possible.
I started it with food and am slowly moving into all areas of life … but holy crap, it’s still a story to keep from freaking at times!
In steps Dr Seuess
So this is my plan, to keep me who I am. I’m going to get me a board, for papers to hoard. They shall all have a story, filled with hope, love and glory. Although my teachings will surely grow, I’ve decided to begin it with … Oh, the places You’ll Go!
Oh, the Places You’ll Go!
by Dr. Seuss
Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You’re off to Great Places!
You’re off and away!
You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You’re on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
You’ll look up and down streets. Look ‘em over with care.
About some you will say, “I don’t choose to go there.”
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you’re too smart to go down any not-so-good street.
And you may not find any
you’ll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you’ll head straight out of town.
It’s opener there
in the wide open air.
Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.
And when things start to happen,
don’t worry. Don’t stew.
Just go right along.
You’ll start happening too.
OH!
THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!
You’ll be on your way up!
You’ll be seeing great sights!
You’ll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.
You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have the speed.
You’ll pass the whole gang and you’ll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you’ll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.
Except when you don’t
Because, sometimes, you won’t.
I’m sorry to say so
but, sadly, it’s true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.
You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You’ll be left in a Lurch.
You’ll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you’ll be in a Slump.
And when you’re in a Slump,
you’re not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.
You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?
And IF you go in, should you turn left or right…
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.
You can get so confused
that you’ll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place…
…for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.
NO!
That’s not for you!
Somehow you’ll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You’ll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.
With banner flip-flapping,
once more you’ll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you’re that kind of a guy!
Oh, the places you’ll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You’ll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.
Except when they don’t.
Because, sometimes, they won’t.
I’m afraid that some times
you’ll play lonely games too.
Games you can’t win
’cause you’ll play against you.
All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you’ll be quite a lot.
And when you’re alone, there’s a very good chance
you’ll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won’t want to go on.
But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.
On and on you will hike
and I know you’ll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.
You’ll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You’ll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life’s
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.
And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)
KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!
So…
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea,
you’re off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So…get on your way!
Download more of Dr Seuss on ebook
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published January 12th, 2012
I’ve been saving this cute pic, taken by Pat (aka @patsloanephoto … aka My Man) for one of those days and today is it.
It’s been the craziest day between family, work and me being my own stumbling block so dinner awaits and so does my family … enjoy whatever you eat just as much as this little guy
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published January 11th, 2012
I’m one of those people who keeps it positive, moving forward and always sees how very far I have come, even if I am in a heap on the floor and in need of a drink. No, scratch that, I don’t drown my sorrows in drink and after a whole lot of soul searching and getting to know myself I don’t drown it in an overdose of chocolate or ice cream either. Well, that’s only half true because I truly did take a moment to (almost) drown myself in chocolate the other night.
It soothed my soul and made all my worries go away. I locked the door so I couldn’t share it with anyone and I reveled in guilt free over indulgence of chocolate and strawberries. I rubbed them all over my body and had my senses in a wonderland that forced my mind to shut the F*%&* up and get lost.
The good kind of lost. The kind that is experienced from a true South African treasure that #FollowSA brought to my doorstep. Just on the other side of town is the home of Tranquil Body Treats and just before Christmas I received a generous parcel of bath soak, foot scrub, hand cream and kiddies bubble bath (that I’m not sharing with my nephews).
I’m the kind of person who wants to rip the envelope open and use the content immediately, but for some reason, I knew that I was waiting for the perfect time. I contemplated taking the products away on holiday with me but then knew that the moment would be in my happy surroundings that are my bathroom. For me, there is no greater gift than shutting the world out and bathing for as long as the body and mind allow … that can be a good hour and a bit for me.
I genuinely felt like Cleopatra. The bath at the perfect temp with a milky colour thanks to the chocolate bath milk that perfectly embraced the water and I totally shut my mind for the first time in I don’t know how long. Holidays are one thing but finding that moment for yourself, in the midst of the madness of a working week, is a totally different gift. I don’t know about you, but I’ve come back with a bang and life has also thrown stuff at me that the Universe was kind enough to put on hold while I took a holiday. I’m not on holiday anymore and neither are the realities I have to deal with.
Realities that were long forgotten whilst I took one toe at a time and gently introduced them to a burst of strawberry foot scrub and a hint of secret herbs. I knew the whole time that I would be blogging about the generous gift from qualified aromatherapist and owner of Tranquil Body Treats, Leigh-Anne Burger and the whole time all I could think about were all the big branded names of bath foam and foot soak that lie in my bathroom cupboards.
Of course I’m so ingrained with social media that I’m hoping someone develops an App that I can speak into my phone and it will type a Tweet for me because there was something magical to Tweet about. The hashtag #FollowSA would follow my total blissful experience and I would hold my breath and hope that the next time anyone is South Africa wanted to buy their Nana body lotion, that they didn’t go to the overly populated and mass produced chain store, but that they would find Tranquility in a truly South African product can purely be described as WOW!
Just the other day I received a Tweet from @DavidGrahamSA asking if I knew of @TranqBodyTreats and that they made the best anti-chafing cream for cyclist.
Someone once asked me if I blogged about everything that anyone asked me to and the answer is ‘no’. I get asked to blog about something different every day and many products have passed my way, but I always stay in my integrity and only blog about those things that really touch me or make a difference in my life and the gift from the amazing woman and her wonderful product is one of my greatest blogging joys.
I needed that bath, but I bath often. I needed something to be different because that is one of the greatest lessons Lifeology teaches people. You just have to do the slightest thing different. Tranquil Body Treats … you were my different and I hope you are there to make a difference in my life for many more moments when only the indulgence of chocolate and strawberry can make it all go away.
Tranquil Body Treats website
Tranquil Body Treats on Twitter
Tranquil Body Treats on Facebook
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published January 10th, 2012
Jared Orlin aka Gossip Guy has been writing about celebrities since 2004. As the former sub-editor of People magazine and entertainment editor of YOU magazine he’s become something of a celebrity expert, a passion he translated into his blog www.gossipguy.co.za. He recently made the move out of print media (although he still freelances when he gets the time) into PR (he’s the PR Specialist of a major national radio station) and hosts an entertainment.music show called The A-List with Jared Orlin on Wednesday 8 to 10pm on 101.9 ChaiFM.
Follow Jared on Twitter: @The_Gossip_Guy
On a personal note:
Jared is a dear friend of mine who has been an incredible support along my journey as both a blogger and within the social media sphere. Some of the best advice and kicks in the butt have come from this dear soul. Beyond that, so have some of my greatest introductions and I will always be eternally grateful for his faith in me and instilling the important rule of always demanding a stage to stand on when addressing a crowd.
Here is Jared’s project me story:
What is your definition of happiness?
It’s the feeling of goals attained, of being successful in what you do. It’s the company of close friends – quality time is so important in our fast-paced world. It’s flirting with a complete stranger and them flirting back. It’s spontaneous hugs. It’s a book you can get lost in. Lots of little things add up to creating that happy feeling.
If you could have everyone say one thing to themselves every day, what would it be?
“You are loved”. I think everyone on this planet suffers to some degree or another from a lack of self love. We disrespect ourselves all too easily and often let others disrespect us too. I’m guilty of it myself. I am utterly convinced that we are all here to learn, grow and experience and that one of humanity’s biggest lessons is to love unconditionally. There’s too much of love’s opposite – hate – out there. Like I’m forever saying “make love, not war”.
We all need someone to believe in us. Who is that person for you and why?
My grandmother and my late great grandmother. I was lucky enough to know and be very close to my great gran and she was fond of telling me ‘The sky’s the limit’. I remember this! My grandmother is an amazing woman. We are very close and she’s my #1 champion. She always tunes in to my radio show and whenever I’m being interviewed on TV or radio she makes a plan to watch or listen. That support is amazing and I’m grateful for it.
What quality do you believe we can never be taught because it is our birth right?
How to juggle…kidding! Be serious here Jared. I think we’re all born with big hearts that we should wear on our sleeves . I think society socialises us into holding emotions back because hey, we don’t want to be seen as rocking the boat or being different. Also, I think babies are born with a keen emotional intuition that we lose a bit of as adults. When you’re upset, they pick that up. The reverse is true too, which is why babies smile back when you smile at them. I think we’re all a bit psychic; we just often don’t trust our gut instincts, our 6th sense. But your intuition is the most important thing you should listen to – much more important than listening to your partner J
Describe the moment when you realised that you could achieve anything?
If I had truly reached that moment I think I’d be Ghandi, or Buddha or [insert name of other enlightened souls here]. Believing something, thinking it and knowing it are not, alas, the same thing. I believe we can achieve our goals. Within limits of course. Turning water into wine is probably out of the limits of my capabilities no matter how intently I stare at that glass….but I do believe we have the ability to shape our destinies. I believe that we are the creators of our journeys here on earth. Which is why I have a vision board and on it I put my goals, dreams and aspirations. I believe in writing down my goals, putting a plan into concrete action. If you sit back and bemoan your lack of success, money, a romantic partner etc, the Universe will just keep giving you more of that lack. Celebrate what you have and write down and visualise what you’d like.
What have you always dreamed of being or doing and have you reached that dream?
Mmmmmmmm, I suppose I have and don’t always realise it. Thanks for reminding me that about two or three years ago I got a taste of radio when I was interviewed by Jeremy Mansfield and Sam Cowen on 94.7 Highveld Stereo’s morning show. I was nervous as all hell but I loved it. The experience left me feeling that radio is my future (at that point I was working for a weekly magazine) and my gut was screaming ‘go for it’. Well, I’m now doing PR for one of the biggest radio stations in the country and have my own show, called The A-List with Jared Orlin on another station. Dreamed it! Living it! And yes, there has been a picture of a radio microphone on my vision board for some time now. It’s still there. No point in taking it down as my radio journey is far from over!
When life gets in the way, what do you always remind yourself of?
Well it’s a bit of a cliché but I remind myself that everything happens for a reason. Like I said earlier I believe we’re here to learn and you learn via experience. The biggest learning curves are those experiences we choose to call ‘bad’ or ‘negative’ like being hijacked or if a sale falls through. But how often do we stop and ask ourselves ‘What did I gain from this experience? What have I learnt from it?’ We’re often so busy having a pity party that we don’t see silver linings. They’re there. I’ll give you an example. When a now-ex dumped me unexpectedly there were plenty lessons I learned: I learned what I am prepared to put up with in a relationship. I learned that it’s okay to speak my mind. I learned what true intimacy feels like. And I learnt how amazing my friends are when I need them there.
We all have something unique to offer the world, what is yours?
To be honest I hate this question. I’m not convinced I’m offering the world anything but there’s a little Jodene angel on my shoulder going ‘Yes you do’ so I’ll tell you what someone said to me recently: “you don’t realise how many people respect your work and the way you approach the celebrity scene with such integrity.” I am paraphrasing here but the gist of this mini wake-up call was that I might be The Gossip Guy but I’m also spiritual and I believe in chakras, energy fields, intuition etc. Many people think the two are mutually exclusive – what could possibly be spiritual about gossip? It’s all in HOW you talk about celebrities. If you choose to ne negative and cut people down, that’s your indaba, but I maintain a sense of (non-bitchy) humour plus the ability to see the ‘they’re-just-humans-too’ side of celebrity makes all the difference. Plus I love what I do. That’s pretty spiritual don’t you think? Living a passion, when so many people out there don’t, is proof of that.
How do you deal with the fears that could potentially hold you back?
Sometimes you just have to plunder forward. Just do it! Ask yourself ‘What’s the worst that could happen?’. Think about it. So you maybe made a fool of yourself but did anyone die? Are you in permanent physical pain? Did you lose a limb? If not, well then have a little giggle at yourself and choose – yes choose – to move on. Because moving on is just that – a choice. You can stay and wallow. That’s your choice. You can also get up, get going and move on. Also your choice. It’s up to you. And if all else fails I remind myself that what happens could make for an interesting blogpost or Tweet.
What do you believe we have lost sight of in the world as a whole?
Loving each other. We focus too much on what we can get out of people. It’s all money, money, money, greed, greed, greed. Fine and dandy to have that mansion but does it make your soul sing with joy? The relentless pursuit of financial wealth worries me. Remember, it costs money to maintain money. You think it’s cheap being a millionaire? Wrong! You’ve got to work extra super hard to maintain that lifestyle. So what’s the point of being wealthy if you just have to work harder and can’t enjoy it…
A personal note from Jared about his support for Hospice:
This blog post is in honour of Hospice, who were beyond incredible when my grandfather was ill a few years ago. They do amazing work and allow the terminally ill to pass on in dignity.
Hospice’s mission statement:
To Promote quality in life, dignity in death and support in bereavement for all living with a life-threatening illness by supporting member hospices and partner organisations.
Follow Hospice on Twitter
Follow Hospice on Facebook
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published January 9th, 2012
Image courtesy of Sodahead.com
We all have to get back to reality at some point and it was my day today.
It started off with a refreshing and positive attitude considering I have set out so much to achieve this year and am trying very hard not to look back with any doubt or worry.
My first meeting cancelled, which isn’t all that bad seeing as though I haven’t sat behind my desk in three weeks.
#FollowSA is one of my priorities this year. Does it make me money as yet? That answer would be no. Is it giving me the greatest joy and satisfaction? That answer would be yes.
I’ve never denied that I’m ambitious and that everything I do is to forward my career and make my highly successful in the social media arena of South Africa. I’ve also never denied that #FollowSA is now part of my very big career plans and with that in mind I set out to define the concept of a hashtag that is truly making a difference in people’s lives in South Africa. I’m not having the best day so my esteem needs to say that I didn’t make that statement. Instead, the timeline is filled with comments about the impact #FollowSA is having out there.
Sadly, I know all too well that there is always a shadow to everything and the same shadow seems to be lingering even though I thought I had left it way behind last year. There was the online spat with someone I haven’t met and then there were a few people in the industry who said they didn’t want to be associated with me. I found that odd considering we really had few words and I admitted to my foolish actions. But it all became clearer today when another group of people said they needed to distance themselves from #FollowSA.
Thanks to my openness and working hard at being genuine, I gained enough respect for this individual to tell me why the distance needs to be kept. Apparently there are rumours going around about how I’m handling the prizes given to #FollowSA. Once again, I considered how to handle this in the blogging space and opted for my open policy of truth … otherwise why am I blogging?
My fears immediately headed in the direction of no one ever supporting #FollowSA again and no one ever wanting to hire Lifeology, but then a very famous dispute came to mind. It’s so fresh in my memory because I’m currently watching The Celebrity Apprentice and Donald Trump takes any opportunity to be disgusting about Rosey O’Donnell.
To this day, despite all the shocking publicity and negative press and despite all that has been said to each other, in malice … they are both successes in their own right. No one crashed and burned from the incident and no rumours tarnished anyone’s reputation so much that we don’t hear their names in all the right places.
We all need something to comfort our ego and despite comfortably standing in my truth, I still needed an outrageous ‘Hollywood’ story to calm me down and settle my mind on the first day back at work.
This is what project me is all about! This is why I blog and why I share truths about what is happening in the raw and real moment! Because on the very day when we are bravest and boldest and head out into the world with the most determination, that is the day that someone comes along and slaps you with hair piece.
I have decided that project me entail me knowing their are always two choice and throughout this year I want to share those two choices in the moment.
Today I could have either lashed out and told a few people to get stuffed and I would work around them but instead I took some sound advice and bravely took the first step to sort out these misunderstandings.
The toughest part about today was realising that no matter how hard I work at my reputation, I can never change how anyone feels about me or what they say about me. Therefore, I tell my truth, keep my eye on my dreams, have faith that everyone will take the time to see me for who I am and not what they hear and focus on the path I am on so that I don’t trip over anything along the way.
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published January 8th, 2012
Published January 7th, 2012
I hope you have 'that' place in your home where you can leave the world behind ... welcome to mine!
I can’t believe the amazing response I have been getting from people about my picture blog over the much needed December break, that it’s brought about a change for this year’s ‘project me’ story. The break from writing does me good and I know that this year is going to be some sort of busy, which I can’t wait for … so I’m introducing the picture blog into my word on the weekends. A few sentences might be used to explain the picture in more detail although we know that a picture paints a thousand words.
After choosing the worst possible movie under the sun … It’s got Nicolas Cage so I should have known … I left Pat to watch it and ended up back in a place that I realised I just don’t spend enough time in … my very olive green bathroom. Don’t panic … part of my daily visualisation is to buy this house and start renovations on the bathroom first.
It’s filled with dragons, fairies and candles and this year I have promised myself many more beautiful baths and much more pampering!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published January 6th, 2012Some songs just stick out for the time and place that you first heard it or the moment that you realised there was a message in it for you or the point at which you saw the light or the sign. I have many of those songs and could probably make a list of a few of them, but the special moments happen when you hear it and all the memories come rushing back.
They aren’t all necessarily good. I never understood why people played pop songs at funerals and ruined it for us for all of eternity. I’ve never recoved from a few of those moments.
Then there’s this song … unwritten!
It was just after Thanksgiving, even though we don’t celebrate it here, in the summer of 2004. I was sitting in my temporary home, after my family home and business burned down and I moved out of where I was living when I discovered that my house mate was a drug addict and let strange men sleep in my bed while I was staying at my sister to be with my family straight after the fire. I had faked happiness for far too long and finally gave in to some therapy and a restart in life … I think I had already sat with my friend and heard her story of how she wanted to do ‘project me’ and put herself first. Either way, this song reminds me of that perticular time in life when it was sink or swim and I chose to swim.
When I listened to the song today I felt worlds apart from the girl who was lost, confused, single and faking it far too much. Today I took a moment to think about all that was unwritten at that point and the story that is my life, written with each choice I make and moment I savour. At the same time, I realise that once again I’m back at the point where I’m unwritten again. Each day we wake up we have that blank page before us, just waiting to create the story of our lives.
Yesterday, I was talking to someone who was praising me for how far I have come in the world of social media. They didn’t seem to see the value in my blog though and said that people aren’t interested in reading all about me every day. In a nutshell, they seemed to think that no one really cared what I have to say but myself. It stirred at my emotions for a good few hours but then I found the gratitude in their comment because they are right … this is for me! This blog is my blank page every day where I get to write my story.
The only thing I don’t agree with is that it’s not a reason for where I am in social media today or that it’s not touching lives and making impact. Either way, the song reminded me of why project me was born in the first place and rekindled something about my power to put my story into words … for me! If you’re out there and you’re listening then I hope you are writing your own story too … even if you choose for no one to read it … because each one of us is a story with ever turning pages!
I am unwritten
Can’t read my mind
I’m undefined
I’m just beginning
The pen’s in my hand
Ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Oh, oh
I break tradition
Sometimes my tries
Are outside the lines
We’ve been conditioned
To not make mistakes
But I can’t live that way, no
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/n/natasha-bedingfield-lyrics/unwritten-lyrics.html ]
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
To the years where your book begins
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
To the years where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words
That you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Published January 5th, 2012
Just as I knew that I needed the break from writing, I also knew that the day would come when there would be a longing to express my days in more than just a beautiful picture (and they were beautiful pictures, thanks to my man, Pat Slaone).
I think dealing with the back to school feeling was a whole lot easier in school, because this grown up feeling, as Pat and I spend our last weekend of holiday together, has sent me on an emotional roller-coaster.Reflecting back on a holiday that began 3 weeks ago, I can’t remember a time when a holiday meant so much to.
Christmas … well I think it was one of best I have ever had in my life and new years began with a kiss that I know I’ve been waiting for all my life. All the moments in between were either a reminder of what I know about my life with Pat or glimmers in to the future that I am so looking forward to.
Yes, I met his kids and don’t know what all the nerves where about. I met his friends and have found my place in their lives already. I watched how everyone acknowledged the strength of our relationship and it was an affirmation that all the trial that create the foundation of a relationship are so worth it.
We road tripped. I refused to eat in strange towns where I was convinced the cow was shot out back. We took ourselves to dinners and movies and slept late. We snuggled and watched movies and grew as friends and lovers …
and now it’s back to reality!
Something changed in me over this holiday. So much of it was born from being brave and opening myself up to adventures of a holiday that were laced with reasons for me to feel insecure and out of sorts. Not once (okay once) did I let myself fall to pieces at the thought of meeting Pat’s ex wife, his kids or becoming a part of his closest friend’s circle.
There is something so interesting in Surrender … I know I did it because of how differently I feel today. I might not be able to say how I planned to do it or if I even planned to do it, but surrender is the only word I can think of to describe my time away with the man I never knew I had the ability to love as much as I do. We are working on Pat’s photography website and in my searching for quotes, I found on that said, “My wish is that when you reflect back on this day, it will be the day you loved each other the least.” I like that … I can so relate to that … but on the other hand, it’s making the reality of back to work that much more daunting.
On the other hand, I have given myself the gift of knowing the outcome of surrender and with a little faith in my ability to surrender once again, I am savouring the last few days of holiday and opening myself up to the limitless possibility that is 2012!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
