It feels so good to just say it! – project me day 830
That’s my Miss Priss way of saying yesterday was an f&^*ing disaster of a day.
It was a build up from the emotional weekend that merged with the beginning of a month and reminded me of the crap financial potential of April as a business owner. There’s the thing that tips you over the edge and with that, life sucks!
So yesterday I had myself a full on ‘life sucks’ day and tried my best to be all positive, spiritual, self helpy on myself … and all the usual things that I do to ‘project me’ the hell of myself and come out the other end a happy, shiny example of thinking positive.
Sadly, I didn’t want to self helpy … I wanted my head to shut the F%^* up!!
I didn’t want so solution myself to death or sit down and meditate, light soothing incense, soak in a bath and talk to the goddess within or around me … I seriously didn’t give a f£%£!!!
Nope, that didn’t mean a fibre of my being was giving up on my dreams or my happiness. I wasn’t having an emotional meltdown and I didn’t have to re-adjust me life in any way. I just had to realise that just because I think I’m fabulous, work my ass off, pray/talk to the gods every day and know exactly where I want to be in my life, that its not going to be f&%%ing tough to get there.
FUCK the self help books!!!
Wow … now that feels so good for a Miss Priss like me who thinks I’m going to offend a follower or lose a reader because I have days where I just don’t give a fuck! Most of all, my anger was vented at all the hours of self help I’ve explored and lived in my life. I was so pissed off that it basically says that if you do what you love then the money will flow like a river … it doesn’t!!!!!
Self help is so ‘read between the lines’ … So what you make of it … so individual that you can’t repeat someone else’s formula … so not he quick fix and so doesn’t have the answers to what happens when you wake up and you just don’t care … but still know that no part of you wants to give up or even knows how to give up!
Then two dear friends each shared to important things with me … and lucky for the Miss Priss in me … they both have the word FUCK in them!!!
Now there was a blogging quandary right there … me, Miss Priss, the girl who doesn’t swear in public. The girl who tried to add the F word to my still unfinished novel and then did a ‘find and replace’ for the word … the girl who seriously says ‘F’ when it needs to be said. But there they were, the two messages that made the first dent in fixing my spirits …
Did you know there’s a self help book called Fuck it … ?
Indeed there is and I think it will be the last self help book I ever read in my life!!!
Did you know there’s a song called I just wanna fucking dance …?
Yes there is … and it goes a little something like this …
I’m tired of laughing and I’m tired of crying,
I’m tired of failing and I’m tired of all this trying,
I wanna do some living
Cause I’ve done enough dying
I just wanna dance
I just wanna fucking dance
Bottom line … It feels so good to just say it, feel it … and not give a damn what anyone else is gonna think or say! Um … yes, that lesson took me 38 years and 830 blog posts to realise!!!!!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour