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Published February 19th, 2010Broken baby toe and pain killer induced blogging should make for interesting reading!
Project me is going swell
So, it was supposed to be back to gym tomorrow. After all my realisations about having fun and not not needing to injure myself (for reasons I’m clearly not getting) … I did it again!
This time I didn’t wake up with a slightly bruised middle toe, where walking was a slight drama … oh no, that wouldn’t be sabotage enough for me … especially after I had decided that through the process of project me, I would learn not to need to injure myself just as I’m having fun!
Of course I walked into the leg of the antique table I walked! There was no denying the amount of damage I had managed to inflict upon myself.
My usual pattern is to work out why! To punish myself for self sabotaging my health and in turn my happiness! To feel guilt about needing the pampering attention that my amazing brother is showing me! To think that I couldn’t just rest and get better without feeling like I should be working!
I know that everything happens for a reason and also know, from past injuries, that self sabotage is my standard pattern. I don’t know why … but, in respect to myself and with the acknowledgement of what ‘project me’ is all about, I am happy enough that I can see a pattern. I’m not trying to figure it out and I’m not focusing on the self sabotage.
Instead, I’m blogged, bandaged, medicated and watching cartoons with my precious nephews …
My only plans … chill!!
That includes letting the chaos run through my mind, the guild of needing help wash over me, the frustration, the guilt … basically, the usual patterns … just let them all chill out! After all, I haven’t taken pain killers in years … this should be a fun after all!!
That’s fantastic advice, Robbie! If I can’t walk straight when I’m sober, can you just imagine the damage that I could do with your fantastic combo! LOL!
Still watching cartoon … and yes, I really have taken time out! Not anything like I expected for ‘project me’, but hey, clearly I wasn’t getting the concept of ‘just chill’ too right!
Ahh… should try an anti-inflammatory and a shot of Jack
Now that’s fun. Nothing else will really matter.
That is a pretty sore looking toe. Really should be more careful. Then again, it could be the perfect way to get you to slow down a little and take some time out.
But you can’t really go wrong the the cartoons!