Project Me

I feel like I have a botox facial expression tonight. I’m grinning from ear to ear and bursting with excitement, yet I’m the picture of … well … pretty much nothing! On the outside I look almost frozen in time, while the inside is doing handstands and the dance of happiness.
I haven’t washed my hair since Friday. Haven’t eaten anything that hasn’t made me feel completely nauseated for just as long and the constant ache in my baby toe has managed to creep its way into the expression on my face. Yet … the fact that I picked the weekend where a dear friend would be out visiting from over the seas and I would have to cancel seeing another dear friend because I wouldn’t be much company at all and I … oh, that’s all moaning and complaining! The bottom line is I had the perfect weekend …

I’m not into the spiritual, new age way of making everything perfect and denying the truth if it is blatantly staring you in the face. Like when you are in a broken relationship and you are doing positive affirmations to make it all better and searching for the good when there isn’t any. I’m not like that …
I am, however, the kind of person who knows that everything happens for a reason and that everything is my creating and exactly as it should be. My lesson is to make sure that I don’t make everything about a negative thing that I was doing and a lesson that I had to learn that I was getting wrong! Much easier said than done … and on that note … I’d like to say that this whole idea of ‘project me’ should have come with a huge big warning … which reminds me of a story that I just have to share with you to give you an idea of how I feel about this how (sometimes dumb ass idea) project that I started …

When I was in London a few years back, I went to visit my baby sister with whom I have a rocky relationship at the best of times. Well, to be honest, I travelled all those miles because I’m a boy band girl and Ronan Keating was in concert. I had just ended a relationship with a guy that I thought would be ‘the one’ and decided that Ronan and a visit to my baby sis would do the trick!
So, sightseeing is obviously in order with my slightly intolerant sister who thinks I’m being very Tommy tourist.
Interjection … I’m petrified of lifts, remember!
So, she’s done Madame Tussauds a few times already and she’s humouring me.
For anyone who hasn’t been, it goes a little something like this … You pay and you then go to an … elevator!!!
WTF … No other way up, no other way out!! That’s it … in the elevator or … nope … just in the elevator! I swear, it was the longest trip of my life! My insides shook and I was so petrified I didn’t know if I would make it to the top without blacking out! And then, just before I thought I was sure to burst into tears, black out or start screaming for air … the doors opened! WOW … clearly it was so worth the trip and a ride that I will always be so grateful that I took!

That’s what being bed rested for this weekend reminded me of! I know I could have had a lot more fun ways of remembering that sometimes we have to take the scary ride to get to the wow moment, but then again, it somehow made the ride itself fun!

So that’s my new resolution for the continuation of my project! I’ve paid the ticket and AM having fun, no matter whether it’s standing and waiting to take a scary ride or being in the space the scares the bajeebers out of me. Or I’m strolling through the museum of wonderment and the magical moments that are always so worth the trip!!

On Friday I was thinking of blogging that I would be starting project me over again … Don’t laugh so loud, your own self has been dying for a reason to whack you with a reminder or two …
Mind your toes everyone!