Loving yet letting go – project me post 1035

Sep - 17 2014 | 1 comment | By

I’m not surprised I woke up with a literal pain in heart at 5am. Yesterday I felt as though my throat was swelling with all the anger and frustration I was holding back at spewing onto the people I know I love, but didn’t want to at all. Close to bedtime I could hardly breathe and I went to having dug deep for some gratitude. I didn’t try scrounge around for gifts and lessons, because sometimes it’s not the right time to understand the messages from the universe.

Incredibly, my day started with one of the most special Tweets, from a beautiful friend, who is constantly and unconditionally tucked inside my heart.

Pixel Slave Tweet Jodenecoza

I was feeling the love, working was passion & excitement, until wounds were slashed open all around me. Dramatic? Yes … it was one of the toughest days I have had to endure in years.

I have kept to my promise that I made to my mom and I’ve never aired my dirty family laundry in the blogging space, but the laundry is truly soiled and bitterly sad to accept.

While I watched nastiness and the misuse of social media tarnish my father’s surname, that some of us truly carry with pride, I also had a friend pick on my one brand account, so I was literally fighting for sanity and to clutch onto some ounce of love for humans.

I could go on, but the hours got worse, until we had mopped up as many tears as we could and bandaged hearts just to get through the night.

Then it was time to Tweet about any #ProjectMe lesson I could have taken from the day and when I tried to, a message came up from Twitter saying that my account had been temporarily suspended to prevent others from malicious or spam content I posted. An email followed, saying they were investigating my account for the same reason … and all of a sudden I didn’t feel like loving anymore.

By the time I climbed into bed it felt like I had lived 3 days in one. It felt like the days that follow the death of a loved one.

Today would have been the birthday of my real life superhero. He started out as the most misunderstood guy in high school, but for whatever reason, my heart was determined to love him and I did. Maybe not as much as he should have let me, but we ended up really loving each other (in the best way we understood). He was murdered by a colleague nearly 15 years ago and you would think it got easier.

In two days time, my dad will have left us 6 years ago. After yesterday, it’s the first time I’m grateful that he’s not around to see what has become of us without him.

So the sun is rising and I have to face the day with a little more effort when it comes to love. Letting go because they have left my human space is one thing, but letting go because I have to protect my heart, is something I had better get my head around quickly.

 



With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
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I won’t let go – project me post 1034

Sep - 16 2014 | 1 comment | By

The days are ticking by and single is becoming slightly more depressing. I know this happens around birthday time, which is 8 sleeps away. As it’s crept closer I keep thinking about all the messages from people in their 40’s, saying it was the most fab time and get ready for the naughty forties. Honestly, I’ve had one burst of single life, naughty fun and all the rest of the highs and excitement has come from my career and travel.

By now, I’m sure you know that country music saves my soul. The expectation that it’s going to be a dreary song, with a banjo, about cancer or Jesus, is not entirely true. I’m slowly starting to show my friends around me, that it’s beautiful stories and special messages.

This week I tried to do some online dating and it turned out to be such a gross disaster that I could hardly get out of bed yesterday. I dared to question if I’m not pretty enough, funny enough, sexually open enough … STOP!!!

Headphones in, I turned to some music to settle my weary heart and ended up listening to a song that most people would sing to someone else. Every word I took in, I started to sing to me!! It’s not the first time it’s happened and just last week I did a Tweet saying that we should sing ourselves more love songs.

Here are the words that got me, from one of my fave country groups, Rascal Flatts:

You think you’re lost
But you’re not lost on your own
you’re not alone

I will stand by you
I will help you through
When you’ve done all you can do
If you can’t cope
I will dry your eyes
I will fight your fight
I will hold you tight
And I won’t let go

And I won’t let you fall
Don’t be afraid to fall
I’m right here to catch you
I won’t let you down
It won’t get you down
you’re gonna make it
Yeah I know you can make it

We are human and we all want this. I’m not even going to attempt faking that I’m all up in the self help vibe of saying that I have to love myself first and blah blah, if you’ve been reading this blog for a while you know that I get self love pretty damn right and I can also completely take care of myself, so sometimes the solutions that everyone swears by don’t make the manifestation. So I’m going to go with the cliche of, “all in good time” …

So I’m just gonna keep being my fighter and my strength and singing myself love songs until another human finds me and understands what is means to sing a love song to themselves.

If you can’t watch this video, then please find any way you can to hear the special words to I won’t let go by Rascall Flatts … then find your own love song and I would love to know that it is.


 



With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
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Grab the compliment and run – project me post 1033

Sep - 09 2014 | no comments | By

Today this happened!!Jodene compliment on Twitter

I was also told by a friend of mine that I’m number 35 on the list of the top followed South Africans on Twitter.

Milestones!!! We really all need them.
The big thing is to realise that a compliment is so much more than just a cool thing for someone to have said to us. Chances are it’s a kick in the butt!

The most positive kick you could ever ask for. I’ve worked my butt of to be noticed in the South African space, mostly for Project Me but I’m more than happy for it be in the social media space too. I can feel the tug of my soul to do more of what I have been dreaming of achieving and today was just laced with compliments … some from stranger, others from admirers and good friends added to the mix too.

All it did was push me to want more and to drive myself to achieve greater things that I have thought may be just a picture on my vision board. That’s slowly changing and a Tweet that may have felt like just a compliment from a stranger has turned into an affirmation of all that potentially lies before me if I just keep doing what I’m doing … living Project Me!!



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Success seriously is as scary as failure – Project Me post 1032

Sep - 02 2014 | 1 comment | By

I was in bed by 4pm, after raiding the fridge and combining an array of unhealthy food combination, because that’s how I cope.

On a scale of 1 to 10, my day was pretty fabulous. I spent it with my business partner and then added the mix of our Chat Factory (yep, that’s business number two) CreaTwit, Tris into the day’s discussions and negotiations. While that was going on, I had one eye on my phone for my Legit Twit Assist, Ash, who may have needed me because it’s reporting time for the clients.

All very grown up, was all that kept on ringing through my head. I distracted myself with food and the cuteness of my nephew’s cats to avoid my head from freaking me out. At one point, I looked over at my business partner, who literally is the rock that keeps me from jumping ship (or dramatically attempting to). We have sat on the couch, with laptops, before.

Back then, however, we were doing calculations to see how we were going to keep afloat and trying to decide what else to do with our lives if the situation got any worse. I remember getting myself into a total panic (eating and staring at my cats) and knowing that I just had to make my career work, because I didn’t want to do anything else with my life.

Something immediately turned around at the beginning of 2013, after having started the business in 2009, and learning the most distressing lessons about money and business. Like a slow train ride to success, Greg and I have been chuck chucking along, until all of a sudden there was a boom in clients and opportunities.

For the longest time I have been talking about our first business (I’m overly nurturing, so I’m going to call it our first born), Lifeology, born from the passion we both have for people development and human change. As my success grew in the social media space, we tried with all our might to shove social media (the new product of child one) into the mix of change and human behavior.

It took months to admit that it just wasn’t working and that the product offerings were just too different. Once again, Greggie and I were sitting at a table, with more food, when we decided that it was time to have a second child.

chat factoryVery clear on what our service offering would be, it didn’t take long to birth Chat Factory: The Social of Media. A social agency, with the focus on online engagement, was born.

I kid you not, this feeling of excitement is exactly the same as the feeling of being absolutely petrified.
Today, after chatting on the phone with Greg for way over an hour, the one thing that calmed me down is that we were both feeling as though success is as petrifying as failure.

Sitting on the couch, with the completely opposite financial and business agenda is a moment where gratitude and abundance just oozes, but there is nothing that could have ever prepared me for this next, exciting, yet absolutely petrifying phase of my #ProjectMe journey.

Advice … keep thanking the universe and let yourself freak out a little, if not, a lot!



With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
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How ink may just have changed my life – project me post 1031

Aug - 25 2014 | no comments | By

A few months back I headed off to the HP head office to meet with the team, who eagerly spoke me through the reason why they had chosen me as the worthy influencer to take home their new, economical HP DeskJet Ink Advantage 4645 e-All-in-One. I know it’s a mouthful, but it’s worth it for all that the printer does. But, I digress …

HP Deskjet 4645 printerThey added to the thrill of printing by including a massive pin board and gloss photo paper and sent me on my way to play with and experience the reality of print … that it’s far from dead and far from ridiculously expensive.

The pin board was up in a flash, and because I live with my sister, my mom and my 8 year old twin nephews, the adventures of print began immediately. A house full of girls and kids and we had it all set up in under 20 minutes. Who needs a geek, when this machine becomes your friend from the moment it powers up and guides you through a fail proof setup.

Totally WiFi, we had 3 phones, 4 ipads and 3 laptops all connected in a flash and the kids took themselves on a tour of the ready to print fun and games, while my sister and I scrolled through our Pinterest to print for the equally divided #Printerest board.

The printing began with a few test ideas and (yes, because I’m sharing my experience of the brand too) I could believe the quality of colour print on plain paper.

Then I got stuck …

No matter what I wanted to print, or thought I wanted to print. I just couldn’t find the inspiration. I scrolled through my Pinterest boards and I have some incredibly amazing dreams and aspiration up there.
While using the printer for everyday printing and my nephews printing away at games, I then took another approach and decided that maybe I should print the things I thought would be easiest to manifest, like my cowgirl boots because I’m heading off to America in April. Hmmm, maybe I should print a cowboy too??

My #Printerest board waiting for my life changing realisation

My #Printerest board waiting for my life changing realisation

Slowly we printed. Some on plain paper and others on photo paper, which literally is photo quality. Another brand high 5 is that we were a little stressed and all the printing, between the kids and our high quality photos … but the ink is still going strong!

Still … I was stuck.

Nothing was coming to life and although I may have been taking such a fun and simple task too seriously, I wasn’t feeling what I wanted to print. A little panic washed over me that I had committed to sharing my story and pics with the world, because HP entrusted me, but still … why wasn’t I feeling the printing of the things I wanted dreamed of aspired for.

I’ve done vision boards for nearly two decades … this should have been an extension of the Project Me journey I am already so engrossed in.

The one thing it did do was make print my front of mind.

In the meantime I was printing things like affidavits because someone cloned my credit cards and contract, because my business is growing and I’m signing on staff … all from document off my phone, thanks to the WiFi, I might add.

Then it changed!

A realisation began to stir …

On my trip to the Netherlands, as I walked to the bridge and realised that it was the exact picture I had printed before I left, all I wanted to do was print what I had managed to manifest already. That swung the mind and for the first time, I began to get excited to print and complete this exciting project that HP had given me.

Then, back in South Africa, I went on holiday with my besties and despite the fact that no one was on the beach because it was a cold winter’s day, I stood on a secluded beach and thought to myself … hmmm, this is on my vision board too.

Strolling along a private beach has been a plan for a very long time

Strolling along a private beach has been a plan for a very long time

Now I had a plan!

Now I knew why I had been so stuck and the fun wasn’t flow.

Now I know what I want to print …

At the moment, this smart, efficient and undeniably cost effective printer is sitting on the office desk in my sister’s house.
Greggie and I have watched our business, Lifeology, grow a little more each day and I can’t wait to snap a picture of when this printer is sitting in our very own offices.

I thought this #Printerest adventure would send me on a spree of wants and wishes, but I had no clue that it would become the cornerstone of my gratitude and confirmation of what I have achieved, which is only driving me to reach further, push harder and dream bigger.

Our journey is never complete and our story is always evolving, so this #Printerest board will never be finished. I see it moving along with me as I achieve more in my life and as my pride in what I have manifested (and printed) pushes me to manifest (and print) more.

We are consumed with images that flash across our phones, tablets and laptops, but none of them are as frozen in time as when they are printed out and placed where you and the world can see them. With our pictures more than tripling in the mount we ever took in our past, they become a blur and some of the most important ones just get lost in the hundreds of other fun, but maybe not as significant moments.

From thinking that print wasn’t as important as it might have been, this time with my HP e-All-in-One has made me a firm believer that there’s never been a more important reason to PRINT!!

My last punt of the HP printer is that I can’t believe how they have listened to the consumer and sorted the cost of ink to a price that finally is affordable and makes sense for us.

A huge thank to the HP team for entrusting me with a product that you believe in so much and for making me a believe too. Mostly, thank you for being true to your word, from the cost effectiveness, ease of setup, WiFi efficiency, print options, ink efficiency, online connection to the HP store (ridiculously cool) and affordability. For the profound #ProjectMe realisation that this little exercise brought to my life … well we all know that some things are priceless.

For all your info check out the HP Shop



With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
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My TedX project me talk

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