Sometimes I notice the long gaps between blogging and try force myself to say something ,,, say anything. When I was blogging daily, I could throw in a random “get to know me” or “my fave country song” post, but both my blog and I have grown up and I find that taking responsibility for blogging my story is very depend one thing … how broken I feel or how put back together I am.
My car was in an accident nearly 6 months ago. I blogged about that and then everything fell quite. I had endless drama with the insurance’s panel beaters wanting to write it off. I refused to and I finally got it to my panel beater. That’s when the true drama started and everything went wrong from struggling to initially source the parts, to the wrong ones arriving. His guy then got injured working on my car and then a gas cylinder fell on it when it was nearly finished. At one point, everyone around me made me panic that my guy was actually a bad ass and sold my car off as parts. The whole time, although not sharing the story at all, I kept on checking in and bumming lifts and cars wherever I could. It was a ridiculously frustrating and uncontrollable time in my life, so I said nothing. There was other stuff to talk about … so I did.
I have my car back now and it’s amazing how excited I was to get home, get work done and get blogging. Boasting about my child that is all fixed up!!
I also finished paying her off just before the accident and put her in my name today, which is another very exciting milestone as a car owner.
So yes … let’s talk about that!!!
I can go on, but there’s only so much I can say about a car, that’s now fixed, but I’m still not done hiding away from the broken.
One of the things that I know sets my story aside from a lot of them is that I do tell it in the midst of my brokenness. At least, I try to. It did make me feel less alone in the work, when I realised that none of us want to talk about the broken. Okay, there’s the exception to the rule and we all know of someone who thrives on being broken, but I’m not one of them. I thrive on finding solutions, making it work and showing myself and the world that we are, in actual fact, perfect in our broken states.
OMG, that just sounds textbook to me now!
Work is going so well. There have been shifts for the positive in so many directions and things are falling into place, with a new client starting tomorrow and one ready to start at the beginning of the year … so let’s talk about that!
I won’t talk about the long road that it took to get to this point. About the frustration with trying to hold onto what works and not destroy relationships with what hasn’t been working at all. I avoided blogging about the horrid time I went through waiting for people around me to figure out what lay ahead for them, that would directly impact me.
I’m not great at playing the waiting game with things that are out of my control, because I am used to being resourceful and making a plan. It’s a bitch when it’s not my plans, but that’s in the past … not broken anymore, so let’s talk about that.
I did one post about heading back into the dating game, but soon enough all it did was make me feel broken again. I can only get so many bragging rights and fake my ego boost at managing to score some male attention for a while. It didn’t take me long to fall very silent on this one and fool myself by saying it’s my private life and I don’t need to share it, but the truth is that, besides a few fun moments (with unavailable men) being on those dating sites only made me feel more broken.
Deleted, unsubscribed, with my esteem and integrity partially in tact … I feel less broken, so let’s talk about that.
I exercised and ate healthy today, because broken weeks and months have passed … so I haven’t been talking about that.
I hope I sound more fixed than broken, because I really am. We say it every year, but I can’t believe we are a month away from Christmas. I am ending my year on an incredible high though, with a blossoming business, huge achievements on a personal and professional level, a marked improvement in my relationship with money and a few moments of intimacy that filled a void and made me smile (and other stuff).
Thanks for sticking around while I wait for the glue to dry and I feel a little more back together again …
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
I grew up as the bargain hunting girl. I also grew up adding orange juice to cheap wine with fake fizz and two for one special as a family night out. It wasn’t because life was ruff … it’s genetic, apparently. In Yiddish, we call it Schnoep and I was very content with that, until I grew up, started to earn my own money, hung out with a new breed of humans called hedonists and fell in love with the genuine stuff!!
I see my family platz a little when I turn my nose up at wine with fizz or a chardonnay that doesn’t come from and estate I have visited or have sampled at a wine tasting affair. Then there’s the genuine handbags that could possibly be a week’s grocery budget and the food and wine pairings that are an institution among us hedonists.
No wonder I was in 7th heaven at this past weekend’s Sanlam #Handmade Contemporary, Food Wine Design fair on the Hyde Park rooftop. It was so great, I went twice. Far too many exquisite dishes to sample and wines to sample. I had to go back for another dip into chocolate or gaze at the handbags and linen that I can see myself surrounding myself with in my near future.
I have no idea why other people go to fairs like this or choose to fall in love with sampling the best of South African creations, but I do know that events like this are my reminder of how far I have come and all that I know I am able to achieve.
Not the run of the mill exhibitors, but true artisans in their own craft, was the highlight of the weekend and I marvelled at how finding our unique passion can set us aside from all the rest. Something I strive for every day.
Four years down the line and the fair has really grown in popularity and awareness. It was a bustle of people indulging in the handmade craft of food, wine and design.
Huge contract to all the exhibitors and gratitude to Sanlam for finding the best and sharing them with us. If you missed it … here are all the details because there is so much out there waiting for you to sample.
Johannesburg, 11 November 2014: This past weekend the Hyde Park Corner rooftop was home to over 100 talented craftsmen and women for the fifth annual Sanlam Handmade Contemporary (FoodWineDesign) Fair.
From furniture designers to ceramicists, garagiste winemakers and celebrity chefs, the diverse range of talented local artisans attracted more than 12 000 visitors over the course of the weekend.
“There is a fast-growing trend to return to the artisanal and so we spent a lot of time searching for the perfect exhibitors to showcase well-made, ethically produced, desirable products, with a story behind them. We are overwhelmed by the positive feedback we have received so far and are pleased that the rename has been so well received,” says Fair Curator, Roberta Thatcher.
Commenting on the success of this year’s Fair, Carl Roothman, Chief Executive of Sanlam’s Investment Retail Business says: “It’s always inspiring to see local talent being supported and celebrated, especially local craftsmen who invest their time, creativity and money into what they do. This Fair allows for exactly that, and we are very proud to be a part of it.”
Keep in touch with #HandmadeContemporary for next year:
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Tell me combination of Food Wine & Design doesn’t thrill you?
It thrills me beyond words and I just want to share. I want to stroll through the 2,ooosqm rooftop of Hyde Park Corner, surrounded by an incredible 117 of South Africa artisans and explore how this 5 year old fair has blossomed into a mini world of the finest, prettiest and yummiest.
- In its fifth year, the newly rebranded Sanlam Handmade Contemporary Fair (with Sanlam as a headline sponsor of the Fair since inception in 2010) is already abuzz around town, so I’m jumping straight into how you can WIN!!
SHOW ME THE ARTISAN IN YOU!!
This year’s name change from FoodWineDesign to the Sanlam Handmade Contemporary Fair, Artlogic is going to bring this concept to life in a dedicated space at the event. From leather workers, to jewellers, ice cream makers and hand pulled noodle experts, several artisans will take turns to temporarily showcase their craft at the Fair.
WE ALL HAVE A LITTLE ARTISAN IN US.
Is it the perfect dessert? Do you paint? Sew? Draw? Are you crafting beer in your kitchen? Is your jewelry being warn by friends and family?
WIN A SET OF TICKETS AND PRODUCT VALUED AT R500 FOR #HANDMADECONTEMPORARY (2 sets up for grabs)
Tweet or instagram: @jodenecoza and @FWD_Fair a picture of your craft, with the hashtag #HandmadeContemporary
Head to my Facebook page and share your pic there: #ProjectMe and tag FoodWineDesign in, with the hashtag!!
ENTRIES CLOSE ON FRIDAY NIGHT AND WINNERS WILL BE ANNOUNCED EARLY NEXT WEEK!!
Press release and ticket purchase info:
Having established itself as Joburg’s favourite boutique event, the Fair returns this year with several exciting special projects up its sleeve. “We have had very encouraging feedback on the bold name change from FoodWineDesign to the Handmade Contemporary Fair,” says Fair curator, Roberta Thatcher. “For us our new name encompasses all the curatorial work that goes into this event to bring together true artisans immersed in their craft.” As part of the experience of the newly rebranded Sanlam Handmade Contemporary Fair, Artlogic will bring this concept to life in a unique special project. From leather workers, to jewellers, ice cream makers and hand pulled noodle experts, several artisans will take turns to temporarily showcase their craft in a dedicated space at the Fair. Visitors will be able to view these producers at work and interact with them, thus gaining an exclusive glimpse into the studio life of artisans.
“Another special project we’re excited about is Chefs in the City,” says Roberta. “This project will see three top chefs – David Higgs of the Saxon Boutique Hotel, Michael Holenstein from De Hoek Country House, and Thom Hughes of the Griffin, Perron and Steamworks, taking turns to treat visitors to their signature dishes.”
The Fair will once again take place on the rooftop of Hyde Park Corner, an ideal venue which offers the perfect combination of urban chic, convenience and gorgeous city views. What’s more, the spatial restrictions of the roof mean that the Fair has grown in quality, rather than quantity, with talented producers competing for a space in the exclusive event. Apart from returning exhibitors such as Dark Horse, YSWARA, and Dear Rae, fans can expect newcomers such as jeweller, Kirsten Goss, Hemma Furniture, Lulu and Marula and Nigerian fashion designer, Tae Afrika, who will be showcasing her new range, straight off the catwalks of Lagos.
On the food side, look out for new exhibitors such as Gwefey Asian Cuisine, Chef Susan Greig and Coobs, while the Fair is excited to welcome many first-time wine exhibitors, including Cavalli Estate, Oneiric, Painted Wolf Wines and Marianne Wine Estate .
As sponsors of the Fair, Sanlam Investment’s approach to investing and creating future wealthsmiths is to identify businesses with great potential, no matter what their size, and support their growth over the long term which is why the Fair has always been such a natural fit for the business. Carl Roothman, Chief Executive of Sanlam’s Investment Retail Business says: “As local and well-made are integral parts of the Fair, and much like the exhibitors are experts in their chosen field, Sanlam is the expert in investments and understands the importance of being able to offer a superior product.”
Carl concludes by saying: “Over the past five years the Fair has not only seen a rise of similar events country wide, but it also continues to celebrate the pioneering spirit of South African entrepreneurs as it blazes its own notable trail, and that is the type of high quality that we at Sanlam take pride in being associated with.”
Tickets are available at the door for R100 (kids 12 and under enter free) and online via www.webtickets.co.za for R90. For more information on the Sanlam Handmade Contemporary Fair visit www.foodwinedesign.co.za or contact Artlogic on firstname.lastname@example.org.
Sanlam Handmade Contemporary (FoodWineDesign) Fair (Rooftop of Hyde Park Corner)
- Friday 7 November: 12h00 – 22h00
- Saturday 8 November: 10h00 – 22h00
- Sunday 9 November: 10h00 – 16h00
NOTES TO EDITORS
About the Sanlam Handmade Contemporary (FoodWineDesign) Fair:
In November 2010, Artlogic produced the first Sanlam FoodWineDesign Fair on the rooftop of Hyde Park Corner. The Fair, which celebrates its fifth year anniversary, is an upmarket event that showcases and celebrates the best that South Africans are producing in these three fields. Following an international trend for shows in the creative spheres to take place in unusual and custom made spaces, the venue of the Fair creates a fittingly bespoke experience.
The Fair is the first event to combine food, wine and design – all lifestyle areas that converge on high quality production and craftsmanship. Each producer is hand-picked and the number of participants is limited to focus on the best and most unique.
Confirmed exhibitors include: Kirsten Goss, Simon and Mary hats, David Walters ceramics, A Love Supreme, CCDI, Leathim, KIN, Detail, 24, Mungo, Blank Ink Designs, Lulu and Marula, Ilundi, Colori a Mano ceramics, Cafe des Arts, Paul’s Homemade Ice Cream, The Really Interesting Food Company, Black Elephant Vintners, Vrede en Lust, Foothills, Craft Liquor Merchants, Hermanuspieterfontein, Cavalli, Henriette Botha, Huguenot Fine Chocolates and Waterford.
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
I had this realisation a few months ago, but knew that the time would be right when I could blog about this and not be angry at myself.
When I first saw the picture of myself in a different light, I wept.
I was scrolling through pictures after I received the new HP printer and was given the fun task of printing out images from my Pinterest board for the #Printerest campaign. I absolutely loved the idea of printing and it’s a dream of a printer, with photo quality results, so the hunt to print more than just pics of vision board dreams began.
If you take a stroll through my Facebook pictures it really is a roller coaster of varying weights, most of which I can always identify with as needing to “fix” something about myself.
But then I go to this one. It was taken just over a year ago and at that stage, on the very day that I took the pic, I was still commenting on the additional 10 or 15 or 20 kilos that I wanted to lose.
I remember, I was proud of myself and I did feel great, but it wasn’t good enough.
This can’t be the only moment when I was perfect in my own skin and I missed it. Most of the photographs that I had of myself burned in the family home fire in 2004 (the ironic start of my Project Me journey), so I don’t have many left, but if I did, I’m sure this would be a recurring theme in my life.
I was just about to squeeze myself into a size 38 here and once upon a time I used to be a size 46 (or a size 20). That’s a huge achievement but no matter how great I felt at any point, it just wasn’t good enough. I have had this image of me being an ideal size 34 (at least) for an eternity and I got so fixated on that, that I totally missed the point we all wait to get to … maintaining a happy, healthy weight!!
I think I unconsciously saddened myself when I missed this moment and it feels like, from that day, I slowly slipped back into old patterns and crept my way back into my 44’s. It took about a year of repeated patterns, with the biggest one being downright means to myself.
Fast forward to staring at a picture of myself where all I could see was perfection!!
It took a while to calm down and not feel a thousand steps behind and then I started to shift my focus and my perception. The first thing I did was dig out the pair of jeans I wore in the pic and hold them against me. I stared at myself until I felt contentment that, when I got back into them I would feel perfect and it would be enough. I totally re framed what I expected of myself and now I see perfectionist when I look at the picture. Not what the world defines as perfect, but what I have!
I then took the picture and instead of making it a goal, I made it an achievement. I have done that with other pics, like finally buying the handbag I wanted or seeing the part of the world I have had on my vision board for ages. We get so stuck on plastering images of what we want all over the place that I really think we forget to print out and stick up the things we have achieved.
Gratitude … well hasn’t that been watered down to nothing. It’s become as trendy as … okay, let me not get distracted and start ranting, but it’s hard to ignore that fact that we banter around with gratitude a little too much. Scrap the vision board of dreams and visions … what would you print, that depicts how far you have come and how grateful you are? That became the burning questions as I sat with glossy photograph paper to print.
Me … I printed me!
I printed me when I was perfect and I missed it!
I printed me as the compass that I have now set to head back to an achievable happiness!
I printed me as a token of gratitude for the love and care that I know I have the ability to give to my body!
In the few months since I had this realisation, I have gotten myself back into a size 42 and I am about to hop, skip and squeeze myself in a size 40 if I just keep doing what I’m doing … simple, easy, calm, focused, grateful and purely heading back to one particular pair of jeans.
My vision for my body has never been attainable. I’m sure some fitness guru out there is going to freak or a weight loss diva is going to tell me that I’m in denial and I can lose more, achieve more, push more … I have so been there, done that! There are thousands of us out there who have been there and exhausted ourselves trying to reach goals that break us more than fix us!!
Find yours … it’s out there!!
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
After speaking to a great inspirational support of mine, and being encouraged to follow in his footsteps, I have finally embarked on writing the Project Me book.
To cut a very long story short, because this decision has been going on for well over 4 years now, I finally listened to the voices in my head. It’s amazing because I tell everyone else to, but I’m the typical teacher who takes my own advice last. I’ve had a few interesting things happen over the past months and through watching how I handle things, I have started to feel more confident that I could share my Project Me tools and teaching with the rest of the world. You see, I’m not yet settled down and in love like the world requires. I’m also not completely financially stable like the money guru would need to be. I’m still kinda lost in the world when it comes to figuring out the very things that I know I was born to share with the world, and so I have stalled the process for far too long.
Sit down and commit two hours a day to writing! Seriously … people have time to do that?
That was the first issue to overcome and over the past few weeks, I just haven’t had a moment.
The Friday night something changed. I finally braved my way back into the dating game, only to be dumped for a first “date” (because I’m not sure if we even date anymore). I was dressed and ready to go, so I thought, fuck it and went out anyway. I took myself to an expensive restaurant and had starters and mains, while finances are a little tight and the place was filled with couples, families and groups of friends. I thought that if I didn’t do this, I would crawl back into my shell and really become the spinster I fear I will end up being.
I took my notebook with (a brand new one), finished dinner while the restaurant quietened down and emptied out and then I opened the first page and wrote “Project Me Book”. I then plotted out some of the lessons I would like to share, without over thinking it … because I totally have the ability to just focus and not over think *coughs*. That was all I did … then I headed home.
I do listen to the voices and they said, go back to the first blog post and pull out the ones that you can use directly in the book. Well, that was always the plan, but I was first going to write everything and then find the blog posts. Now the blog posts seem to be plotting my content more than I am. Of course I would turn the writing process on its head.
So I did …
1 January 2010 and 92 post read through in the first day. I took way more than 2 hours, but I became fascinated!
Repeated patterns!!! OMG, that was all that I saw. Here I am, nearly 5 years down the line and I was my reading things that I literally happening now. The dating game, the hiding of my friend with benefits because the world says otherwise, still living with my mother & wanting silence … wow, I even got stood up within the first 20 blog post. Exercise … well, nothing much has changed there and as for my battle with food, that’s still being written about.
I had a pang of anxiety and through that maybe now would be a great time for a career change. How could I guide the world in anything when I was repeating patterns?
Wait one minute!
The girl who got stood up the last time, took it personally and was wounded for ages, tiptoeing around men for a while while she tried to figure out what was wrong with her. Now, I put on my lipstick and threw myself back into the world.
The girl had a friend, who she said she was comfortable not being committed to, but obsessed over what it meant to be a friend with benefits and now I have an incredible bond with a special man and we are what we said we are … because it works for me way better than the relationship choices I still know I have work to do on.
The girl who hated exercise (and still does) used to force herself to go to gym and even unconsciously injured herself to get out of it, while now I walk and do squats and feel that it is enough … for now.
The girl had financial issues that stemmed in being petrified and unsure of the career choices, and now I have a grown up business situation of cash flow.
I could go on, but I think you get the picture.
I am determined to be more vocal about how the self help guidance we have been given might be a little too skewed for the journey of a human spirit. We have been forced into change and breaking our patterns, but maybe we are pushing to change the wrong things?
I read one of my blog posts, where I spoke about being free spirited when it comes to relationships and I also read how I made a dozen excuses about being different to my friends who settle down and get married. I then did the whole settle down thing, because it felt like the right thing to do and it was so wrong for me (maybe just for the time being) so pushed and tried to change the wrong thing. Maybe the situation hasn’t finished teaching us what it needs to and it shouldn’t change just yet …
Maybe not until we have changed our perception and learned all we need to about our human spirit and just how brave, powerful and abundant we really are?
Maybe we are meant to dance to the same song over and over, until the words sink in …
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour