I haven’t been able to blog for a while. I know I have these spurts of on and off writing and I can’t believe the patience of my readers, but lately I have noticed that I don’t have the same impact I used to have on the world. I haven’t been invited to any social events in ages and things that I was a part of (some even deeply engrained in) I see are happening without in me, in the world of social media.
I only have myself to blame, because I haven’t been active enough of late. I haven’t said yes to just any event and I have had my own views on using the social networks to either save the world of boost our own agenda, and so I have fallen very quite. Twitter just isn’t the same anymore. No one talks to each other. Everyone just favourites the impactful things that I put out there, when I would give anything for a Retweet. I get tagged into so many posts, and I do the Retweet thing, because I know that’s what they are expecting, but when I tag the same ones in … just a favourite.
My stats have dropped, but then so have my number of posts.
I’m not done telling my story yet. Actually, I haven’t even begun, considering I still have the dream of Project Me being turned into a good and giving people the tools I have used to create this journey for myself. Yet, I’m stuck.
I could blame Mercury Retrograde, but that only started yesterday and I have been feeling this for months now. I feel like I have run out of things to say or that the world isn’t going to notice the girl who doesn’t play into the cliche of self help, like an overdose of positive affirmations, when my advice is to first tell yourself the ugly truth and then begin the hunt for just one thing that makes you happy each day.
What if someone out there has no clue what to stick on a vision board, because they have no vision at all. I have the answer to that … yet, I’m feeling just as lost. I have gotten myself lost in what the world expects of me and I can’t find my voice to say it different. The cornerstone of Project Me has come up to be tested once again.
I feel bad for not blogging for so long, both for me and for those who actually do get something out of Project Me story, so I’m doing one of the things I want to teach the world … I’m doing one little thing different today. I’m blogging, when I feel like I have nothing to say.
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Sometimes it takes me a while to wrap my head around the world’s perceptions and what is thrown onto social media, by all who are now judge, jury and prosecutor. I am constantly wondering whether we got worse as humans or if we are only noticing it now because of the millions of Tweets that anyone can throw into the world.
I’m usually sitting on the sidelines and empathizing with the latest victim of the self appointed critic, but not so long ago, I was on the receiving end of the malice that is rife in social media.
After returning from my USA trip and having shared my story, with such passion and self pride, because it is the cornerstone of #ProjectMe, I was called a narcissist on Twitter. My favorite part of the story is that I’ve never engaged with this person and they weren’t even following me.
Now I’m going to judge and presume.
I’m going to presume, that in a string of a few dozen Tweets, this person’s followers were posting quotes from other people, asking for Retweets of someone less fortunate than themselves, re-posting an image of dead bodies or rescued ones or ripping to shred the latest victim of social stoning.
I’ve been a happy Tweeter since early 2009, but to be honest, it’s become a place filled with all the wrong intentions. My favorite was chatting to new people from all around the world, some of who I’m still friends with today. I haven’t made a new friend or genuine connection in well over a year, because people aren’t there for that anymore.
Admittedly, I’m there to share my #ProjectMe story, but on the other hand, I feel like I’m holding up the white flag to people’s egos and saying it’s okay to put yourself in a Tweet. Actually, it’s okay to put yourself first in the world.
Unraveling what it means to be a narcissist is supposed to clinically diagnosed, as if you were manic depressive or OCD. It’s now become a term that’s bantered around and is only causing more judgement, because how much is enough self praise, self love, self respect, self worth when the whole word is waiting to make sure that you save a kitten, a puppy, a tree, give a homeless meal to someone else … is that before or after you feed yourself?
This is why I haven’t been able to write for a few days …
Because if I don’t say this I’m going to explode or turn my passion for #ProjectMe and love for social media into a pool of resentment and I love myself too much to do that.
At some point, social media turned the world’s attention to what makes the new hero or who has the loudest voice, in the mass noise of millions and everyone started to fight for that attention, figuring out the way to shout the loudest. Two things seem to have stood out most … save the world all on your own or be tagged as the person who managed to coin the nastiest comment about another human being. I really haven’t been able to see much else going on in the world of late. In that light, I would have to fess up and admit to being a narcissist, because I don’t want to do either.
I know my following is big and I can’t begin to tell you the number of messages and Tweets I get a day, all where I’ve just been randomly tagged in, in the hope that I will Retweet someone else’s post about their plight to save the world or show that they are more charitable or compassionate than the rest. Sadly, those same people never Retweet a blog post of mine or favorite a picture of my expression of self love, because I think they are too busy searching the news channels and waiting for the next tragedy to strike or human to flounder, so they can jump back up and fight their way into the limelight.
I give to charity. I do my bit for the world and I am determined to make both my mark in it and a difference to it. My social media presence has and will always be the same … it’s me, in my world, sharing my #ProjectMe story, in the hope that some people catch onto the message and give themselves permission to put themselves first and not have to play into the expectations of the masses.
My parting thought and #ProjectMe lesson:
If you have not filled your own cup first, with self … love, worth, respect, money, patience, kindness, happiness, abundance, then you have robbed yourself of all the world has to offer you. Once that cup if full, it will run over and you will be able to give of charity and kindness in any form, but you will also be so fulfilled that you will never feel the need to let anyone know what you have done. Then you will shine bright and people will make you as the one who truly changed the world.
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour
Not everyone may know who this is, so let me introduce you to one of my country music icons, Miranda Lambert. Her music has gotten me to be tough, grow up, give love a chance, get over heart break, survive tragedy & keep on going no matter what.
I have dreamed of seeing her perform live, knowing that we don’t get any country music heading to South Africa. Last night, as I watched her perform live, in Dallas Texas, tears of self pride and worth rolled down my face.
I have had so many obstacles along the way, mainly financial ones, but I started to take #ProjectMe in the directions of working with my esteem first and watching how it impacted my finances, and it did.
I’m sitting at the Dallas airport and waiting for a 30 hour journey home, but when I get back I’m turning all of this into a workbook for you and for me to dream bigger and achieve more.
Note to self and to you … It doesn’t make life easier when we live with consciousness and purpose, it just makes everything we go through so worth while!
It’s day 5 of my dream trip from New York to Dallas. I haven’t done so much walking in years, but we literally walked New York. We saw two incredible theatre productions and took in as much as we could. It’s an incredible city.
Last night we arrived in Nashville and I felt my whole world become brighter and stronger. As the plane wheels touched down I felt my heart soar … I made this happen! It’s a whole new level of manifestation for Project Me and last night I kind of walked through the streets of Nashville in a daze. It was so much to take in that we went to bed at around 10:30.
My first blink this morning and I felt a tear roll down my face. I woke up in Nashville. I made a dream come true and it’s not even country music time yet. I said thank you to me and to the universe and to me all over again. I’m in awe of the power if manifestation and feel so ready to create so much more.
I’m struggling to find wifi … It’s far less accessible than I thought it would be, so sorry it’s taken this long to touch base. Will definitely post in Dallas …
My clothes are all scattered on the fold out couch, important papers tucked in with my passport and airline ticket and sleeps are less than a handful before my #NYtoDallas becomes a reality.
11 months in the planning and being the girl who turned my passion for social media into a career, I haven’t been able to stop thinking, that when I first started Tweeting and sharing my Project Me story into the CyberVerse, I did it because I wanted to show people that it’s possible to live by the philosophies that my business partner and I use as the Foundation of Lifeology.
When I started blogging, I was still getting my business of the ground, spilled the beans about everything from my struggles with weight, to money to boy. Entwined in that have been my plans and dreams and the things I’m most passionate about and I was posting country songs, shamelessly, from the very beginning.
So, by the time I started to talk about one of my biggest dreams in the pipelines, I had already created the most special bonds across the social networks and shoved country music in people’s faces that it was hard to ignore my story. I booked the tickets for the Academy of Country Music, Party for A Cause in Dallas almost a year ago and I haven’t been able to contain my excitement. Between my love of cowboys and country music, I held myself back most of the time, because I didn’t want to be that annoying girl who over shared.
Well, that didn’t last too long, when the time ticked closer and plans heated up. Once I started to know which artists would be performing, the excitement exploded and I started to slap it all over the place. We never know who hides our posts or silences us online, but from the likes and comments, it’s so very obvious to see who rally’s around to support each other online.
Can I just say that the support and shared excitement for my trip has been overwhelming.
I have been completely overwhelmed by the people who have showed excitement for my trip. It’s happened in the supermarket, at the beginning or end of meetings, from people I haven’t spoken to in ages and some I’ve never spoken to before. I’m receiving Tweets and Facebook posts from people who don’t know much about country music, but they thought of me when they saw something. Everything from pictures of cowboys to recorded snippets of country artists on the Ellen Show … recorded straight from their TV sets.
I am touched, overwhelmed and so blessed to have the excitement of so many people to share this with and my wish is that it show as many people as possible that it’s worth dreaming BIG!
Two more sleeps and I’m on my way. I will be doing updates on my Twitter: http://twitter.com/jodenecoza on Instagram at @jodenecoza and right here, so I hope you continue to share in the adventures with me as they unfold.
With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour