Project Me

It’s the little imprecations and moments like that – project me post 951

Posted by jodene May 17, 2013 No Comments »

I’ve started this post and deleted it far too many times. Now have a pizza in the oven, chocolate on my pillow and have gotten through 2 cups of tea without writing a word.

That’s not surprising considering I’ve been dodging an update about my heart and my step back into the world of being single. Part of it has been because it’s crappy and I don’t quite know what to say without pretending that I’m pissed off, frustrated and pissed off some more that my ex got away with treating me so badly and marched off into the sunset to continue his life. I am always concerned that he might read a post and see how I’m doing, so I don’t say how I’m doing …

But then a part of realised that I’m actually doing damn well considering.

The other reason I’ve been skipping over the relationship stuff is because as fast as some men have arrived in my life, they have left. I haven’t been a lonely spinster December and there’s a part of me that’s avoided saying that too! Well, I haven’t and I’ve had some fun, been reminded that I’m pretty, sexy and attractive, that I know what I’m doing … with the lights on!! And it’s all be fantastic for me!

There I said it!

Wow, was it really so tough?

So I find myself alone a Friday night, off to a blogger’s weekend and a hotel room that I will be sharing with a friend who is truly becoming very dear to me … a girl friend!
It wasn’t the plan at all. It was supposed to be a fun night away with someone who I have been trying to care for and make special things with, yet all we do is fight and argue! There’s a bond, but there’s also so much mess in between that I’m now at the point of packing it in and walking away. I get the reward of the pizza and the chocolate … because I know you’re reading this …

Country music has always been my saving grace and I know many people just don’t get it, but there are messages in it that help me make the right, healthy choices for me and tonight is no different.

Between the lines I’m typing, the words to “little moments like that” are playing in the background. The word that talk about the imperfections of the woman you are supposed to love and care for … and loving her for all of those imperfections.
We haven’t had that … we’ve argued about all that I’m getting wrong, saying wrong and doing wrong.

And all of a sudden I had one of the greatest Project Me moments with myself this year.

But first I want you to read some of the lyrics to the song:
Well I’ll never forget the first time that I heard
That pretty mouth say that dirty word
And I can’t even remember now, what she backed my truck into
But she covered her mouth and her face got red and she just looked so darn cute
That I couldn’t even act like I was mad-
Yeah I live for little moments like that

That’s like just last year on my birthday
She lost all track of time and burnt the cake
And every smoke detector in the house was going off
She was just about the cry
Until I took her in my arms
And I tried not to let her see, me laugh-
Yeah I live for little moments like that

I know she’s not perfect, but she tries so hard for me
And I thank God that she isn’t
Cause how boring would that be?
It’s the little imperfections, it’s the sudden change in plans
When she misreads the directions and we’re lost
But holding hands-
Yeah I live for little moments like that

I’ve left him sitting at the gate because I got lost in making him dinner, forgot to buy the wine because I … oh, I just forgot!
I start a sentence halfway through a thought and don’t know if I want one toasted sandwich or two. I might want tea until I smell him having coffee and I use words that have three meaning but know exactly what I’m saying. I drink red wine with seafood and I say I just want to be friend then can’t wait for him to kiss, say I don’t know where we are going but am upset that I haven’t met his parents. I’m far too sensitive, far too romantic, far too insecure and far too complicated!!!

But I’m me … I’m all those imperfections wrapped up in a believer of happily ever after and endless possibility.
I’m loving and caring and fun. I’m supportive and encouraging … oh wait, why am I even explaining myself.

I’m me!!!

Today and over the past few weeks of listening to all the things that are frustrating about me, I’ve learned that this is me! This ditsy, daydream, complicated girl is me, but somewhere out there is a man who is looking for a girl just like me!!!

I’m tired of thinking of have to change and I’m tired of trying to figure out why men leave me. But then I put on a country song and am reminded that somewhere out there is a man who walk though the door and kiss me on the cheek while saying, “crazy girl … where’s your phone? Where’s your head? Where have your thoughts taken you? Where’s your heart at now?”

I’m Jodene … and I’m filled with imperfections!!!!!

(PS … this video is absolutely gorgeous so don’t skip over watching it!!)

With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour

To experience the greatest love of all – project me post 950

Posted by jodene May 15, 2013 6 Comments »

It’s the strangest experience writing a post from a completely different side of the Joburg Theatre. I think that’s why it’s taken me so long. I’m still trying to get my head around all that has changed in my life over the past few weeks and every day I promise myself that I’m going to make time to blog my experiences.

Then the day passes and I find myself dazed at those very experiences and unsure about how to do what I have always done, but from a totally different perspective.

That’s what experience does.

It takes all your hard work and the very thing that you have done from day to day … and turns it on it’s head so that it’s still the same thing but with a feeling of …

That’s the kicker! I don’t think it’s a feeling that can be put into words.

I imagined that speechlessness when I was sitting at the very top corner of the Joburg Theatre, watching Belinda Davids literally take people’s breath away with every note of Whitney Houston’s songs that she claimed with such passion and devotion.

There I was, in a dream career position, with 2 mobile phones working furiously at one time, doing what I love best. Half the theatre was filled with people I had invited and that I had taken years to build relationships with and all I needed was for them to Tweet.

A few years back I was at an event and the host said “Tweeting is the new clapping”. I felt that, sitting and working furiously to give my best and wait for the response of excited Tweets filtering through the Joburg Theatre timeline.

My job was easy though, because I was blessed to have my debut social media publicity role for a show that needs nothing more than for the phenomenal Belinda Davids to take the stage and do what she does. I imaged her singing her way through her life and where she must have sung the very Whitney songs that captivated an audience and brought tears and astounding applause into the air.

I imagined all the years of singing ‘greatest love of all’ and how our very homegrown South African Diva must have waited for this one moment in time. This perfect moment to experience her greatest love of all … her talent.

Running until the 2nd of June at the Joburg Theatre, the #greatestloveofall Whitney Houston show is not to be missed, for two very important reasons.

1. You cannot miss the opportunity to hear the magic that is Belinda Davids. Close your eyes and imagine that you are experiencing Whitney Houston live or take a trip down memory lane with songs that molded so many of our memories.

2. To be reminded that the there is a talent within each of us, which needs to be worked at every day and lived passionately in order for it to blossom into a moment so life changing that you might be center stage or sitting in a dark corner of a theatre … and you are living one of the greatest moments of your life and experiencing the greatest love of all.

Have your moment with Belinda Davids after the #greatestloveofall

The show runs until 2 June and you can book at 0861 670 670 or http://joburgtheatre.com

Please Tweet your #greatestloveofall experience about the show!
After each performance, Belinda comes out for a picture moment with you.

With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour

Welcome to my world Joburg Theatre and 2000 FM – project me post 949

Posted by jodene May 05, 2013 4 Comments »

A great lesson that I had to learn as a business woman, is that not everything we set our hearts on comes to fruition. It’s also been something that I have had to learn to deal with along my Project Me journey and believing that only the things that I truly deserves will come off, has been the toughest lesson of all. Hence I’ve been so quiet in the blogging space.

The wait to be absolutely certain has left me feeling a little speechless of late. But Friday changed all of that.

I woke up feeling the perfect combination of proud and excited on Friday morning and couldn’t believe that my day was about to be filled with two milestone I have worked so hard for.

It was off to the 2000FM studios in the morning for the first of my very own segments called #GoSocialFriday.
I’m not new to radio or to 2000FM and Angela Ludek has been instrumental in my journey over the past year and a half. I used to feature on her weekend show every 5 of 6 weeks and talk social media. Now that she has had an exciting adventure with another one of my favourite presenters, Tsheko Mosito, I get to go on an incredible ride with them. They are now the co presenters of the morning show called #TheCollective2000.
The time on air was amazing and because Angela, Tsheko and I are have such a clear and common vision, I get to talk about what I Lifeology most passionate and good at … the social of social media.

In studio with the #TheCollective2000 team, Angela Ludek & Tsheko Mosito for #GoSocialFriday

I got to explain what I do and I could feel my pride in finally being settled into the social media space with an unwavering confidence.
I’m loving the curious response to the term “social media publicist”, but I’m also loving how people totally get it once I explain it to them and then see how it’s the perfect fit for my career.

Where there is a calling for any traditional media at events, launches or where news is breaking, there is now a very significant place for “new media” … and that’s my job … to get the correct new media to all of those events.

On that note …
If you’ve been following my story for a while, you will know that one of my greatest joys has been blogging about my experiences at the Joburg Theatre. It has been the highlight of my blogging career, with the theatre giving me my first break to blog about Burn the Floor over 2 years ago. From then, it has slowly become my home away from home and I fell in love with the idea of being involved in whatever way I possibly could. One of my beliefs is that we should never limit our possibilities by becoming fixated on an idea and the opportunity I have been presented with is a prime example of this.

I would have been thrilled with some behind the scenes moments or a backstage pass or two for major events, but instead, on Friday I signed my contract as social media publicist for the Joburg Theatre.
I got to meet the cast of the upcoming production, #StarlightExpressSA and share my plans with them about making the theatre the most socially savvy this country has seen. This all begins this week with the introduction of #TweetSeats (specially allocated seats for socially savvy Tweeters) to share the experience of #greatestloveofall, Whitney Houston Show as it happens.

Specially allocated #TWeetSeats at the Joburg Theatre

I’m beginning to get the feeling I’m going to be tattooing “passion pays off” somewhere on my body! This is why … moments like this! Days like this!

Tonight I’m in bed by 8pm and gearing myself for finalising RSVP’s for #greatestloveofall before dashing to the theatre to give 7 new media the first behind the scenes peek at the #StarlightExpressSA cast in action.

Pinch me …

With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour

Silence speaks volumes – project me post 948

Posted by jodene April 30, 2013 No Comments »

I’ve been so quite.
I’ve sat down to blog countless times but then nothing flows.
I have so much to say, but I feel like a horse caught back in a paddock and frustrated, waiting to run free.

That’s literally what my life is like right now.

I’m sitting on the brink of such exciting ventures and opportunities but with contracts not signed and client’s asking for me to hold back … well, have you ever seen me speechless?

Well, that’s only half the excuse. I know I could babble on about my personal life, but that seems to be in such a confusing place too. I’m trying to believe that second chances are possible and that we don’t have to drag our past with us, but that’s proving to be less simple than I thought.

Now that I sit here and I’ve finally mustered up the courage to talk … I realise that I’ve missed out on sharing so many good things. Oh hell, have I been focusing on the negative? Have I been silent because I haven’t been counting my blessings and popping past to give a snippet of what makes me happy each day. Of course there is stuff that makes me so very happy and I’m loving the journey.

Okay I needed to hear myself say this to pull myself together and stop walling in all that I think I can’t …

It’s an interesting day to have this realisation because tonight is the Pagan festival of Samhain. It’s what we know to be Halloween, but this is the right time of year and going far back to the birth of the festival. The start of winter and the celebration of the dark harvest. On a personal note, it’s the time we should go inwards and face our demons or the shadow that we hide from. It’s a time of great truth and insight, without coating everything with the the positivity movement.

Perfect #ProjectMe timing … as always!!!

With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour

5am blogging to silence the noise – project me post 947

Posted by jodene April 19, 2013 4 Comments »

I haven’t used blogging as my own form of therapy in the longest time. Admittedly, I know I have neglected the entire process and power of writing and it’s left a void in the bond with my Project Me story. Between expressive Facebook updates and splashes of life lessons all wrapped up in 140 characters, I have been fooling myself that pouring my heart out in writing isn’t needed.

I’m working with the most amazing coach. It’s been so long that I don’t know if I told you that. John coaches me through business, my reality and life and I guide him through the amazing world of social media. It’s a perfect partnership of exchange for what we both find very daunting at the moment. One of his suggestions was to wake up in the morning and just write. Write and write until it’s all out. It doesn’t even have to make sense, as long as everything is just written out and the day can start afresh. I have been resisting that for a while, but instead been doing very specific daily visualisations.

I wake up every morning and visualise my perfect day. I start from imagining waking up with someone who truly and honestly loves me. I include the healthy options of meals I will eat and even imagine jumping out of bed to get to my home gym and love the feel of burning muscles (despite hating the reality of that). I add in all the things I want, like the rows and rows of shoes to the busy day filled with lectures to huge corporates and staff all coordinating the social media publicity, while I still select the right influencer for each client. And of course, there’s a PA … she calls me early in the morning to run through my day, while I indulge in a healthy breakfast, engulfed in success and love.

I’m still waking up at 5am though. I’m still waking up with uncertainty that hits me first.
Since the breakup, life has changed so much that it’s been like roller coaster ride in the centre of a funfair. Wherever I look there are loving, happy people. I’m surrounded by moments that are taking my breath away because they are what I know I deserve and what I what I have worked so fast at manifesting. People that I look up to and admire and telling me how my life journey is inspiring them and I now wear my glasses permanently because of the gush of compliments that has made me feel more beautiful than I knew possible.
I’ve stopped weighing myself and give my half hearted attempt at gym, but I’m feeling better than I have felt about myself in I can’t remember how long. Chances are, this is the best I have ever felt about myself .

I’m still waking up at 5am though!
I’m still waking up with uncertainty that hits me first.

Writing until it all spews out it supposed to be so therapeutic. So is screaming or smashing something. I have to pick something because I constantly have a looming anger that I can’t carry around forever. I don’t want to carry it around forever because happiness has done knocking at my door and is now hovering around my heart just waiting for me to make space for it.

Having someone love you (or you think they love you) and being lashed with betrayal when you put your heart and soul into it, is not a small hump in the road. It potential smashes the road to such a degree that you need to find an alternate route … one that could potentially get you very lost in the world. A dear friend of mine saw my ex and thought it would help me to let me know that he said he’s happily moved on. Mostly, he seems to be relieved that he has no one to report to or have someone nagging him anymore. That’s when the anger hits me … when love is labeled as nagging and chains that bind. That’s not the only thing that angers me. There’s a lot all heightened by the fact that I can’t shake the feeling that he got away with so much by getting to stroll out the door with one car load of crap, and missed out on the thousands of conversations I have wanted to have with them. None of them very loving and supportive … because I did that.

This isn’t the place to write all of my anger out, but it is the home of my thoughts and my project me story … which I truly attempt to live each day with courage, consciousness and a sense of humour.
I’m doing that and it’s showing in my physical, the rewards of my success at work and in my life … but …

I’m still waking up and 5am …
I’m still waking up with uncertainty that hits me first …

This morning I’m going to brave doing a different kind of visualisation. I’m going to put this person in front of me and I’m going to have the conversation I have rattled around in my brain and my body for so long. I’m going to spew it all out. I’m going to swear and curse and spit. I’m going to hate and rant and rage … because a 5am wake up call from the unconscious has been going on a little too long and I’m only prolonging true, reciprocated love by avoiding the emotional turmoil that I’m afraid will emerge if I just let it all flow out …. at 5am!!!!

With courage, consciousness & a sense of humour